piggishpig is a pig who is feeling piggish

Year 2007 to Year 2008

2008-01-05T15:21:00.000+08:00

歌曲：我们之间

歌手：棒棒堂

专辑：哪里怕

这一段时间有着什麽样的画面

喜怒哀乐全写在日记里面

发现每一页全都是经典

所有的故事都值得纪念

现实的考验我们说好一起面对

不管多久多远绝对不喊累

期待彼此更美好的阴天

我们说好谁也不放弃谁

手牵着手(连成线最紧密的圆圈)

肩靠肩(每一刻都好像在身边)

深呼吸做你最高的堡垒

风吹过的海边雨水下过的季节

让我好想念

我们之间不会有改变相同的起点

一瞬间变成了乐园

我们之间转了一大圈相同的终点

会发现所有的心愿会实现

我们之间不会有改变相同的起点

一瞬间变成了乐园

我们之间转了一大圈相同的终点

会发现所有的心愿

我们之间 oh 一瞬间变成了乐园

我们之间转了一大圈相同的终点

会发现所有的心愿会实现会实现

This is my first song dedication to my dear friends out there. Found it really meaningful. Describes about the bond friends share among themselves and the dreams they dare to dream of together. Hopefully all of us will be as what the lyrics scipted, persist with passion!

Moving forward, what are your new year resolutions? I meant realistic resolutions, so that gives no excuse for not being able to fulfil. This year, I have too many resolutions. From as simple as sleeping before 1am every night to adopting a healthy dietary to extremes such as travelling to 2 countries this year and complete a story. Of course, good grades as well since I'm starting school on Monday!!! Gosh! I can't believe I'm going back to school.. finally! It's been ages since I've stepped into a campus. It will be a hectic and I supposed, both a tiring and fulfilling year for me. Tiring because I am still working full time and studying part time. Fulfilling because I know I'll cherish all the time I have now to complete goals which I've set for myself. But these also mean that there are sacrifices to make. Such as time spent with friends and family. Folks, in future, I'll be away for classes either on Monday, Tuesday, Friday or Sat (afternoon), plus projects and work, gatherings for me will be minimal. So must let me know way way beforehand if we are meeting.

However, before I move on to work on my 2008 goals, I want to reflect on Year 2007. Which I think everyone should do so so as to know clearer what you want to achieve in the new year and what you can do to improve yourself and make living more meaningful.

Within the last 6 days of new year, I brushed by death. Or to correct, I saw my granny fighting death. She contracted colon cancer and was in the 3rd stage. There is still no confirmation as to whether she needs to go for chemotherapy sessions but I can already experience the pain and agony she will be put through. And high-likely she will need to go for these sessions. Can you feel the pain? I think it's worst than kidney dialysis. Furthermore, she is already wearing this bag where her small intestine can be seen. (Our small intestine looks like chinese sausage btw.) Her faeces will be discharged through her small intestine into that bag which she will have to continue to wear until she completes her chemotherapy sessions. It's really troublesome and mentally stressing. This morning, she just flared up because she is unable to eat chilli. Chilli is a necessity for her. She lives on it, but because of the bag she is carrying and her recent operation, she can only take congee and fish. How can she take it?! Right now, I can only pray for a speedy recovery. And hopefully, she does not need to go for chemo.

Year 2007 was also a year of uncertainty for me. I was not sure about what I want in life. There seems to be too many things going on and even if I have any aim, I had doubts that I'll be able to complete it as there are so many barriers out there. First and foremost, money would be the main issue. It won't make one happy but it is definitely important and essential. And since I've borrowed a bank loan for my education, all the more I won't be able to save money for things that I want to do.

Worklife was an extreme for me. From low, to zero, to 20% then to 80%. I don't know whether to say I am lucky or what, but I am glad the risk I took paid off. Ever since joining Changi Airport, I know for sure that I want to be in the travel and leisure industry, and if possible, mass communication too. This is my aim. And where I want to carve a career for myself in.

Lovelife was a big boo boo for me too. Thankfully the 4 years of relationship went on. Because now, I can tell others proudly that both of us worked for what we have today. And I hope our relationship this year will be smooth-sailing.

Friends... they are important to me. This year, I befriended many friends from different professions. They taught me different values in life which I believe will guide me through different walks in life. Thank you for all that has been taught!

There are alot more which I would love to blog about, but I think I'll keep that to myself. Kind of lazy to type anymore. So before I sign off, here's wishing everybody a blissful year ahead, with a year full of good health, wealth, warmth and passion! Love all!

Part 2

2007-10-22T20:31:00.000+08:00

Continuation....

Erm, I suddenly don't know what to post... haha...

Shall let you guys view some MVs first...

I still have a sudden urge to reside at Taiwan at times. Not because of just the entertainment, but also because I want to experience the culture there. The Chinese, but yet not so traditional culture. I give myself 3 years in Singapore to earn enough money to move over there for 6 months. I'll be 25 years old by then. Will I still want to go? Guess only time can tell...

I shall touch a little about my love life now. Although we still pickle over minor issues, but basically, I am happy. At least I see that he is more sensible now. Though still spending, but it is an investment. So it's good. So friends, I am living well now. No worries. Thanks for all the care and concern during those days. Thank you! Muacks!

I just attended my friend's baby's first month celebration. Sometimes, I'll feel like getting married, move into my own apartment and live in my 2-person world since I don't have any motherly instinct now. My friends always ask me when I am getting married and I'll always tell them after I obtain my degree. But should I really wait till then? Oh well, I guess may be I am shadowed over my parents' divorce. By dragging, I want to make sure that I am going to marry the right guy. And not end up being a divorcee. Let's pray.

On to work life, so far so good. Though position-wise, I've dropped a couple of levels, pay-wise, lowered by a few hundred, but I am happy. At least I don't drag myself to work. Moreover, I see results and how it can add on to my portfolio in future. I'm thankful I made the right choice to job-hop.

I am also working towards my goals, my dreams. Are you? Live to dream!

HELLO HELLO!

2007-10-20T18:07:00.000+08:00

Hello Everybody!

Long time no 'SEE'!!

Hahahahah...

How have everybody been so far? I'm currently still very busy at work, though I must admit that it gives me a great sense of satisfaction. Especially when I see a successful event and promotion one after the other... the response and result... the feeling is remarkable! I'm sure many of you who run promotions and manage events will have the same experience as me!

A little update on what has been going on in my life since my last post... since I seldom go online these days too.. too tired to chat...

I went to Bintan and Phuket for a break with my Sec sch buddies and my mum n sis respectively.

The bintan trip was refreshing. It was one of our first trip to somewhere out of S'pore for the first time as a group after graduation. We've been talking about traveling to somewhere and we've finally done so!!! So happy! Many thanks to Lac who got us the 'HUGE' chalet at a very affordable rate. Thanks to Winnie who cooked for us. Thanks to Shan and Shufen for being such great sports, shopping and sleeping companions. And of course- many many thanks to the 4 of you for being such great traveling mates. This is extremely important as it affects the friendship. I'm thankful that it did not and I'm more than willing to travel with you guys again! How about all of you? If you don't feel comfortable, must let me know ya?!

But as good as it is, I've been shedding skin for 2-3 weeks after the Bintan trip. And I've turned very tan, so tan till my colleagues who saw me 3 weeks after still questions me why I am so dark! Very exaggerating! Haha... If you want to find out more about Bintan or view the many pictures we took, please refer to Shan's blog.

Next would be my trip to Phuket. Stayed at Banthai Resort and Spa. GOOD! EXCELLENT! I strongly recommend anyone who wants to go to Phuket to book a room there. Convenient, spacious, excellent service, many facilities and tight security. There's even a jacuzzi, suana room and a hot steam bath room. One very memorable experience with Banthai was on the last day of our stay. We checked out at 12pm then went to join a tour to visit James Bond Island. It rained, so all of us were drenched, soaking wet. Hence, we tried our luck by asking the reception if there was any place for us to shower and change. And guess what!? They offered us their spa to use to shower!!! So prestigious right? I'm impressed. They have me as a supporter now. Haha...

Besides the hotel, we went for a half day city tour, went to watch the Simon Cabaret and Phuket FantaSea Show, went for a half day Island tour and of course, shopping and services!!! I shall let the pictures do the talking now. Haha...

My ex-colleague from Voxy. To think that we've not met for a year already, but now that we've met, it's her serving me on Jetstar!!! Haha...

At James Bond Island- We wanted to climb higher, but it started to pour so we ran all the way down again. Drenched...

At the foot of James Bond Island

At Payee Restaurant. It's a Malay Fishing Village. Food is superb there!

On the 'banana' looking boat to all the various island... can't rem exactly what it is called..

At Phuket FantaSea- Tickets are slightly expensive, but it's totally worth it. It's a not-to-be-missed show in Phuket!

At the entrance of Banthai Resort and Spa

We had the jacuzzi all the ourselves.... shiok!

After the Simon Cabaret Show. Spotted a few really gorgeous performers...

At Phuket's most famous temple- Can't rem what it's called too.. haha...

Rifle Shooting- I scored 42/50!

A bird's eye view of Phuket

Our hotel room- the bathroom and basin

Banthai was the second hotel which I stayed at where the basin is not in the toilet..

Our cosy bed and hotel room!

I must emphasize why I went for this Phuket trip. I won this trip through my company's 'First to travel through Terminal 3' ballot draw. As we all know, T3 will be opening its door to the public from 12 Nov 2007. Besides the landside area where most public can walk about freely, visitors can get to explore the transit mall for a nominal fee. You should really go to visit if you have the time. It's huge! I spent 10mins walking from one end to just half the terminal. If I'm not wrong, some stores will be operating by 12 Nov too, so go and grab the great deals available!

Besides Bintan and Phuket, I also went to stay over at SAF Yacht Club. My mum is in a networking club which allows her to exchange points for a night's stay at the SAF Yacht Club. I must stay that although the place is small, the whole atmosphere is relaxing. Moreover, it's a restricted area, hence, the crowd is kept to its smallest. Therefore, making it very exclusive. Food is good, facilities properly kept and even its KTV has the latest song!!! Worth visiting if you have a chance.

At SAF Yacht Club- We were not supposed to take pictures with yachts at this area. But we took till the security warned us... haha...

I want this swing for my house!

I particularly like this picture. Good photography skills yeah?

I wanted to show you guys the boat turned bar top but can't be bothered to rotate the pic... try tilting your head instead.. haha...

Taking a night walk...

There was a marriage solemnization when we checked in...

The wedding couple arrived in a yacht... how cool yeah?

The Swimming pool and jacuzzi...

The view from our hotel room...

The 2 twin cosy beds...

That is all for now.. took quite some time to type this post and to upload all the pics... shall continue my update another day when i feel like it.. sayonara!

3D Cakes

2007-09-16T00:32:00.000+08:00

I've taken a fancy to 3D cakes recently. Although they are costly, but it makes a difference to cake tasting altogether...

飞轮海-《出神入化》完整MTV

2007-09-15T22:03:00.001+08:00

飞轮海-《出神入化》完整MTV

Indulging in my own world...

2007-09-15T21:57:00.000+08:00

王力宏庆功演唱会 in Taiwan, with special guest: Selina and Rainie Yang
(Can ignore the rest of the video after Rainie)

The Fact

2007-09-15T21:42:00.001+08:00

I still can't get over the fact that the group of friends whom I once thought were trusting are actually not what I deem them to be. In fact, I think I was never regarded as one of their 'direct' friend, but their friend's girlfriend.

Truth be told, I hate it when people treat me as their friend's girlfriend, cousin's girlfriend or who's friend's friend when I treat them as my friend. Especially after so many years of knowing each other and after my repeated times of reminding them, it still does not work.

Friends who knew this group of people once told me that they can no longer click with them. Different frequency, different thinking, different ideas. They were once close, but now, they seldom chat on msn, much less meet up. I told them that not all of them are like this. They probably need to spend more time conversing with them to find out what are their thoughts. They might not be who they seem to be. I always persisted in that belief.

But this birthday, I was wrong. I was utterly disappointed. Very disappointed. None of them remembered me. And when some of them were reminded that it was my birthday, some wish, some did not wish, some didn't even bother. And for the don't know how many times, nobody called me when they gathered. Nobody bothered to ask about my existance. No one from that particular group cared. All that my other friends once told me about them seem to come true. That they probably only cared for themselves, for the fun and company. Taking everyone else for granted. I don't know what else I can say besides disappointed. That seems to be the only word I have to describe them now.

I know those in this group might be reading this now. You might disagree, you might boil. You might feel unfair for. But this is what I feel from the bottom of my heart. Who's right, who's wrong... only time will tell...

Thinking for yourself...

2007-09-09T18:47:00.001+08:00

I realised that I have been grumbling and complaining alot recently. May be because I have high expectations. I don't know. But I feel that what I expect are merely just basic human principles, but yet, so many people cannot attain it.

I no longer have patience for such people.
I no longer want to be magnanimous and forgiving.
I no longer want to give in and be generous.

I know now, why some people chose to be selfish and only think for themselves. Because this is reality. In this world, this era, many people only think for themselves. If you always put others before you, you will suffer in the end, and ultimately, only you yourself will understand how terrible it feels.

Of course, you still have to be responsible and have intregrity. This is the basic. You are still answerable to yourself. As long as you can live up to your concious and hold your head high, you have my respect.

I feel enlightened.

My Birthday

2007-09-09T18:43:00.000+08:00

This birthday, I learnt who my true friends are.

This birthday, I learnt more about myself.

This birthday, I realised I have been taken for granted by many people.

This birthday, I realised that my sisters are my best friends.

This birthday, I felt disappointed in him.

This birthday, I know for sure that I am not materialistic.

This birthday, I am not satisfied... in fact, it was one of my worst birthday...

Hurt...

2007-08-14T19:03:00.001+08:00

I feel very very very terrible....

He actually told me that he wanted to break up... but I managed to persuade him to give this relationship another chance... he finally agreed but told me that his reason for wanting to break up is because he said he loves me too much but does not feel the return. He feels that I am not loving him enough or not putting in enough effort into this relationship and not showing him enough concern.

I feel very wronged. Very heartbroken and sad... I just cant stop crying... although I've managed to retain this relationship but I don't feel good at all... I still love him alot, may be that's what makes me feel so shattered... so upset over...

I admit that I might not show him as much love as before, but that was because he changed too much. He is not like the him last time. He did not show concern to me too. Gave more attention to his friends n colleagues. It's like.. whenever I want to spend more time with him, he will always have plans with his friends later. He no longer sends me home. He no longer tells me that he loves me. He no longer would show concern about my health and brushes me off. Always say that I am falling sick so it's normal le. He makes decisions without considering about my feelings. Although ultimately, he gives in, but that was because I blew it up. If I did not do so, I'm sure he would have went ahead to proceed with what he wanted to do. He told me that he wants to save for our future, but he does not have any savings. He is not doing anything to assure us of a future. Then he blames it on me not wanting to get marry early cos I want to do things which I have planned on my own. But how can I get married now? No savings, no nothing.... I really do not feel secure marrying him. I do not want to end up like my mum. That is the last thing I want to happen in my life. He said that I do not ask about how he feels, but when I do, he does not tell me. If he dont want to tell me, I respect your decision, keep quiet and gives him moral support. Do you ask about how I feel? No. He also din ask. But I share with him. I take the initiative. I am sick and tired. Yes, sometimes I feel like giving this relationship up, but deep in my heart, I know I love him too much to really do it. And he just told me that he loves me too much that's why he want to break. I feel really very terrible... like what have I done to deserve all these?

This time round, I am really hurt. My tears just cant stop rolling down my face.... i'm in deep pain.. very very pain... until i duno if i can forgive him for this...

Notelist

2007-08-11T22:57:00.001+08:00

So much to do, so little resources...

1) Get a new spectacle- My old one is out of shape. It's like a reading specs now.. haha... May be I'll make a trip down to Kluang to make a new pair. It's simply too ex to get one in Singapore...

2) Get my 2 pairs of Charles & Keith shoes! 1 flat, 1 heel... most of my shoes are all worn out already... though so, I feel satisfied. I like to use things till they wear and tear... makes it worth it..

3) Compose lyrics for a chinese contest- I've been trying my best to submit entries for such competitions. I recently handed in a short story for a local competition which I doubt will be of much interest... but it's a start for me! And it gets me to start writing for my book...

4) Read harry potter and the half blood price then get the last installment- I bought the book last October.. haha...

5) I want to get this top from Bugis! But it's a boutique where all clothes are the one and only... I din get the other time cos it was a little costly.. regret... duno whether it'll still be there...

6) Mark travel dates at the end of the year and early next yr- If i've saved enough, I would want to travel to taiwan or HK at the end of the yr. But doubt so. And T3 is opening, so might not be able to apply for leave. So if not, just a short trip to genting or a cruise...

7) Get an eyeliner- My eyes have been occasionally sore for the past one after putting on my contacts or makeup. Think it could be the makeup.. time to change for a new set!

8) Head down to any beach to cycle and pinic- It's been ages since I've done so... It's time!

9) Meet up with different groups of friends- it tough, tedious and tiring been the organizer.. haha... dont u guys agree?

10) Get a new digital camera! My mum's camera is going bongus... need one for leisure and work... time to save again... going broke...

11) Work towards my dream!!! A handful of dreams to work towards... this, i think will take a few years to accomplish... wish me luck!

Tada! I wonder how long I will take to check the list I just created... haha...

小S徐熙娣-愛不持久

2007-08-10T22:15:00.000+08:00

小S徐熙娣-愛不持久

This song totally describes my mood now...

作曲:徐熙娣作词:徐熙娣

爱不可能持久

尤其当一个人怀疑自己的时候

本来更甜美的话

现在却象在吵架

如果没有人想承认

自己还爱对方

爱就变成挣扎

爱不可能持久

尤其当你怀疑我不爱你的时候

本来想牵你的手

现在却觉得尴尬

如果没有人想承认

自己还爱对方

爱就变成挣扎

我不想失去你

又不知道如何表达

我爱你明明在心里面回荡

我不想失去你

又不知道如何表达

下次多希望你能够鼓起勇气说爱我

HIM

2007-08-10T21:40:00.001+08:00

What is wrong with him? This time round, I don't know how to play my cards...

He called me yesterday to say that he feels that we are lacking in communication. I agree with him on this point, but it can't be helped. Our work hours and rest days are totally different, our interests are different too, our views and opinions differ as well. He is more of a night person whereas I am more of a day girl. We are 2 complete opposite creatures who happened to cross path and decided to join into a single line.

Come end August will be our 4th anniversary, I have planned a weekend of celebration for the both of us. He has also taken leave. I simply just don't know why he have to react like this now.

He commented that he foresees this as a never ending problem, or at least till we get married. Then we will be able to meet each other even if he ends work late. What can we do to solve this? I suggested that he change his job. Because for a retail operating hours, his company is sucking his blood. Taking up almost 7/8 of his week, and making them work from 10am to 1130pm whenever they are assigned full shift. I should be the one complaining that he does not have time for me, does not give me the attention he ought to give instead of giving it to his friends or colleagues. He does not drink last time but now, goes to pubs with his friends and can drink to almost a drunken state at times. I dislike all this. But I know that as we age, our thinking differ. We may want to try new things. We mix with different people. We are exposed to many worlds which we have not even seen before. I am alright with that. But if you are going to be like this, don't come and complain that I am the one who is not trying hard enough to make the relationship work.

Now, he does not even want to talk. I went for dinner with him and his family. Sat beside him but he kept quiet all the while even till we went home. I tried to communicate, but he simply just passed a remark to say that he does not even know what is wrong with him. I see no point in staying at his place so I stormed out of the house and went home.

I respected him. Gave him his freedom. He commented that I am not caring enough about him and not loving him as much as last time. He says that I do not ask him about his work or show concern, SMS while at work etc. He tells me about his work so I naturally do not ask him anymore. I do try to find out more but he will just brush me off and say that I will not understand. When talking about SMS, I admit that while at work and especially when I am busy, I will tend not to use my hp for personal use. But occasionally when I do call or SMS, his reply will be busy working, call you later. Isn't that back to square 1? I don't see the difference.

Everything he said from last night till now makes me feel like he wants to initiate a breakup. He says that he is scared he is wasting my time if it does not work out for us. At that point of time, love is not the reason for our breakup but because of the difference in interest. If that day comes, I will gracefully take it. Though I think I might feel strong and able to withstand all these now, I don't think I will be able to recover fast when it really hits me. He ever said before that unless I suggest, he will not initiate. But what is this? I am really heartbroken... I try to organize outings to the zoo, museum, play pool cos i know he like animals and nature, but he rejects all. So what more does he want?

I find all these problems, which he calls, unnecessary. I see no point in arguing, or worrying about all these. I have already given my 2 cents worth of advice and solution. If he does not want to even try, what can I do? I am lost. Confused. Puzzled.

A few weeks back, he even wanted to let his female friend stay over at his place for a whole 1-2 weeks. Common! I will not take this lying down! I am not that generous! That girl was initially at Australia, just started uni. But just into the first week, she decided that she want to switch schools to be the same as her bf. So she needs to fly bk to S'pore to settle the procedures. However, she does not want her parents to find out so she asked if she can bulk at his place. He immediately agreed. Please... think of me can? I told him I didn't like and he said that he respected me that's why he told me, otherwise he can just go ahead to let his friend stay without telling me. I don't think that was very pleasing to hear. I am your girlfriend. It is not just a matter of respect, or whether he wants to stand up for his friend. He claims that he is not the kind to leave his friends in the lutch, but how can he allow this? And what kind of girl would ask if she can stay at a guy's house? Hello!? This is Singapore.. not Australia. You grew up here! Dont you have other female friends? If you don't, then you should go and review your character. It's time to make changes! I told him straight in the face that if he insists on letting her stay, I will break up with him and I meant it. This is serious case for me. I cannot accept it. Although I believe he wont betray me, but who knows what the girl might do. And it's a very sick thought to know that another girl is sleeping under the same roof, in my bf's room. He continued to argue and insisted at first which totally disappointed me. But I won the battle in the end, which I feel that I should. Thank goodness he gave in... but now... he suddenly became like this... actually many problems are self created by us. if we choose to look at things from a broader perspective, then we will not feel so stressful and will live more happily...

I dont know what to do anymore. I only know for sure that I do not want a break up now... when is he ever going to wake up?

Words Women Use

2007-08-05T18:06:00.000+08:00

Words women use:

FINE
This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the thrash. So I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down and backwards. 'Nothing' usually signifies an argument that will last 'Five minutues' and end with the word 'fine'.

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over 'Nothing' and will end with the word 'Fine'.

My Best Friend

2007-07-22T01:41:00.001+08:00

Do you have a best friend?

I wanted to join a contest earlier on which needed contestants to send in pictures of them and their best friend. Then, at that point, I recalled that I do not have solely one best friend, but a bunch of good friends.

How about you?

I used to have a best friend in Primary school. She was the first friend whom I befriended in Primary school. Up till now, I can still clearly remember how we met, where we met and what we were doing at that time. 3 years later, we met another friend so we ended up being the 3 musketeers. I guess the saying that 3's a crowd is rather true. So into the 5th year, we declared that we were no longer best friends. Come to think about it, I think we were all too young to understand the true meaning of friendship and how to cherish it. I have confidence that if we were more mature in thinking then, things will be different now. I know this particular friend of mine feels guilty for the past. Don't girl. You made me a stronger person. Although I must admit that I was feeling really terrible and lost at that moment, even causing me to turn to other people to get them to be my best friend, but that was because I really value our friendship and thought it was stronger than that. And probably because my parents were just divorced, thus was really stressed. But it's ok, it's all history and we're still friends. Good friends in fact. Reliable. And we did spend some good years in Secondary school. So no worries! May be our circle of trust had been changed, our bond amended, but nonetheless, I still want to let you know that I'll always be here for you when you need me. Or even if you decide to seek others for help, I'll respect your decision. Just don't let me know anything if I'm not supposed to. You know la, I cannot withstand the feeling of knowing something is hiding from me. But I pray for your happiness, your health and your future. I have trust in you.

That was in Primary and Secondary school. When I went on to poly, I found many good friends as well. Especially this girl who I will always protect. She is so dear to me, have been through with me all my tough times and lowest moments during my gig in poly. However, she is also still not my best friend. I know her best friend too, and goes out with them. We celebrate our birthdays with each other and indulge in each other when we have problems. But when I am with them, I feel odd. I know it's nothing much, but the feeling is not that pleasant. It's like being a light bulb when with a couple. However, I still love them. Cos they give me the motivation to dream, to aspire to be the person who I want to be and the perseverance to live the life I want. Thanks girls!

All in all, I started to think about all my other good friends. Each of them have their best friend and people who they really confide in. I trust we have the connection, and fate did bring us together. But may be time's up for us. It's time to move on and for me to impart my values to others who need encouragement, advise and support. I know you girls are reading this and may feel sour. Don't. I just want to pen my thoughts. To let you girls know that cherishing who you meet everyday is very important. For all you know, that person may be your eternal best friend.

The angel that will guide you through your life...

Dedicated to Winnifred and Hui Xian

2007-07-22T00:04:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Winnifred Lim!
*I got your surname correct hor... it was truly just a spelling error the other day. You know, when you think of something and bluntly just pen that word down instead of what you actually want to write.

Any special birthday wish this year? Don't tell me! Keep it to yourself and work towards that goal. Give yourself an estimated year to fulfil it. Then when it does, let me know and I'll celebrate for you. Ok?

It may not be related to your planned future or work. It can be anything.

All the best girl!

Next, welcome back Hui Xian!

Manz, I'm finally seeing you after half a year. It's been such a long time... ok, not that long actually, but compared to seeing you almost everyday in Primary and Secondary school, that's a big difference!

I'm proud and happy for you girl. For what you're fighting in life, your inspiration and aspirations. It does not matter if they are very simple missions or dreams. As long as you know what you want, work hard to accomplish it, learn the values- that's truly what matters. Take for example, your article being published. Seriously, that is not something one can experience even in a lifetime. It takes potential and depth to be noticed. Great job girl!

Work hard, play hard and enjoy life!

Here's a song dedicated to the both of you. In fact, to all the Only Dinner babes. Take note of the lyrics! Please think of me when you hear this song!

s.h.e-老婆

作词:任家萱(selina)作曲:陈嘉桦(ella)

从昨天到今天

还有明天

感谢老天

让你们陪在我身边

爱的心痛的心

等待的心

因为你们的拥抱

我很放心

当初见面的不安

彼此的探索

也许有些茫然迷惑

朝夕相处才发现

这世界中

没有人

比你们更懂我

朋友姐妹

都已不够来形容

我们的默契骄傲

扶持与包容

老婆老婆

我们一起打勾勾

请记得约定的

旅程到永久

SHE 老婆 - Original MV

SHE庆功演唱会唱老婆 - During their concert (Very touching...)

换换爱

2007-07-15T00:37:00.000+08:00

换换爱

This is a newly released Taiwanese Drama Idol. Into it's 7th episode, I already saw the many similarities between the drama and my life. The person, the family background. It totally reflects me. Those who want to know me more can stay tune to the show. You may now log on to tudou or youtube to find the show. Each new episode will be uploaded every Monday.

To find out more about the show and its cast, please click the 'play' button below. Haha..

Customer Service

2007-07-05T22:22:00.000+08:00

What is excellent customer service?

I attended a 3 day workshop on customer service recently. Have learnt alot, disagree with some, agree with a couple. But what really impressed me was the many interactive games that were being played.

Game 1
The moment class was addressed, our trainer asked us to picked cards and on the count of 3, carry out the sports action shown on the card. It is actually tactfully telling us that we have to mix around and reshuffle our seatings. It was really funny seeing everyone doing an action each.

Game 2
Having introduced ourselves, we formed into 2 teams. Each team is to send a representative to sit in front of a blanket, which segregates the 2 group. On the court of 3 when the blanket is dropped, you are to shout out the other party's name. Manz, it was really hilarious because most of the time when the blanket was dropped, we just blubber and started laughing. Haha...

Game 3
This was more of a coordination and teamwork game. Passing balls to each other in sequence.

Game 4
Blow wind blow. Blow what? Blow all those that wears specs! What was funny about this game was that we can see people who don't even need to change seats moving! Haha... like guys who wear skirts, girls who are 'man'... haha...

Game 5
We were all asked to hold 'hands' using ice cream sticks. The mission is to without letting go of each other, we are to convert a face in circle to a face out. And guess what! I was the one who solved the riddle! London bridge is falling down.... yeah!

Game 6
Competing against another group, we were asked to pass balls to each other in sequence again. But the challenge is to complete passing 3 balls seperately in 15 seconds. Then 3 seconds. My group won.. with honour.. haha... we managed to think out of the box. That's what made us the champion.

All in all, it may sound very dry in writing, but when we actually play, it's fun. You will not know how it truly feels until you experience it yourself.

It's all about teamwork and passion!

Friendster Horoscope

2007-06-30T22:21:00.000+08:00

Friendster Horoscope- 30 June, 2007

The Bottom Line:
Your healthy ambitions are getting healthier by the day -- the sky is the limit!

In Detail:
Your healthy ambitions are getting even healthier today, and you might find yourself thinking about doing things that you never would have dreamed of a couple of years ago. But before you tackle that next wonderful goal, you need to concentrate on finishing some things up today. Check those last few items off your list, and you will be immediately rewarded. Right now you have to prove to yourself (and to everyone else) that you can follow through with things.

I like the feeling described. Feels good. Haha.. wonder what I'll be rewarded with...

Kluang

2007-06-29T21:30:00.000+08:00

I always celebrate my Chinese New Year at my great grandmother's house at Kluang. Her house is very different from my grandmother's house which was featured some time earlier. Want to know how it looks like? Refer to below...

This is the famous Kluang Station. The roti bakar there is superb. So good that someone bought the name over to KL and made a replica of the train station's outlook and the menu. Haha...

It's a very small station, but many Chinese. Besides taking trains, we can reach Kluang by buses which can be taken from Johor Bahru Bus Interchange. It's better to have own transport in Kluang as those who don't have will either sit the old buses or take 'ba wong chei'. Their buses are really antique and ba wong chei means it's not a taxi, but instead, it's just people who are offering to ferry you around the town. A fee is negotiated at the beginning of each ride.

There you go.. my great grandmother's house! She has a very big porch cum garage. What we normally do is to transfer the dining table to the porch every new year. Used for not only dining purposes, but also gambling! Haha...

A swing attacked by the kids and the elderly. Good for relaxation.

From the main gate into the house.

The garage which can house 3 cars.

My mum like to pose next to the flowers and take snap shots.

The living room. Pardon me for shaking.

Another angle of the living room. That's my Tai Poh aka great grandmother. We will normally shift all the furniture into the dining room and sleep in the hall. Much more cooling!

The kitchen where my grand aunties and grand uncles does all the cooking, sometimes as early as 4am in the morning! His speciality- Nasi Bryani! Yum!

The second room where we normally store our bags and clear our shopping. We used to sleep in another room, but I forgot to take pics of that room. Sorry! That room has a raised wooden platform. It's really high, so high that you can store a table underneath.

The dining room

From the kitchen onlooking to the dining room

The Porch. We used to have a dog called Lucky. But he passed away 1 year ago. Sad. It's one big dog which I was not afraid of.

This is the backroom next to the kitchen.

Look at this switch! Not sure if you guys have come into contact with such a switch before.. it's ancient!

Alright then, that's all for now! Hope you've learnt more about this little town called Kluang!

Meet-ups with the Girls..

2007-06-27T22:37:00.001+08:00

As per requested by Miss Winnifred and Ms Layshan, I have deleted my post on our steamboat. Shall replace it with the below pictures instead. For those who have no idea where we are, we were at Marina Square. Many thanks to Winnie whom learnt about the UOB discount at Spaggadies (Is that how you spell that restaurant?) and for arranging the meet-up!

Our next gathering, probably an outing to the zoo when huixian is back?

Plans in my Career

2007-06-27T21:53:00.000+08:00

I'm into the second week of my new found job. Still attending classroom classes. Really tons to learn. It has given me a better insight into my job and the industry though, which I believe it is a good thing. So even if I leave my present job in future and want to continue advancing in this line, I believe I have better standings. And what's the big news?! I just found out that I'm the first female officer hired externally. The present ones are all just recently promoted internally. I'm making history!!! I can't believe it! Haha... At least I made a mark in the company/industry.. haha... it's something to be proud of yeah? Pioneer leh...

BUT... there is always a dark side to everything. I am on a 3 year contract now. Which means that there is no job security. I've also recently found out that the company is on sale now, that means I will no longer be expecting the big fat 6 months bonus!!! It was something I was looking forward to, very much. Cos' if in any case I want to break my bond, I can use my bonus to pay the penalty. That is if I've secured another job in the management line in this sector. Frankly speaking, this company/job is a stepping stone for me to venture further ahead. My plan is to gather some basic operating knowledge first before I move on to management. In this industry, a degree is needed for filling in of positions. A diploma is nothing. Hence, I decided to grab the opportunity though there were many clauses and uncertainty involved such as shift work and the much lower pay I'm fetching now. Also, it was supposed to be only a 2 year, but it's now extended to 3 years. So you see how much I'm losing out on? But, looking on the bright side, the long term prospects are good. I believe it will benefit me.

On the other hand, remember I once posted about wanting to go overseas for a year to work and experience the culture in another country like Taiwan or Australia?

China Airlines called me. I previously applied for the position of sales & marketing. Therefore, was greatly anticipating for them to arrange an interview. But they only called me something like a month later! By that time, I was already going to sign the contract with my present company. And they called me in the morning, disturbing my sleep, making me unfocused. I simply just rejected the interview. The moment I hang my phone, i regretted. Part of me rejected the interview was because of the above mentioned, whereas the other was it has been so long already. And lastly, I did not know that China Airlines belong to Taiwan. Otherwise I would have went ahead to give it a try. Who knows I can request for a transfer?! Then even better, go there for work purpose. Accommodation all provided! Arrr... guess it's just not fated for me. Nvm, I shall work towards that goal. (And I only found out that China Airlines belonged to Taiwan from my present company. See the foundation laid out?)

Then a few days after I started work, the management of Changi Airport called me to invite me to an interview!!!! Blahhhh.... all these should have came earlier. But guess what?! I went ahead to accept the interview because it's an office hour job (which allows me to have adequate rest and time to study) and that it's a management post. Now waiting to see whether I'll be scheduled for a second interview. I was very honest with them, about my present job and all, so the ball is at their court. If I don't hear from them, I will just continue with my present job till about 2 years, then I will break the bond and move on. I'm not getting younger. I still want to get a degree and try living in Taiwan. So much to try, so little time. And while working with my present company, I am on shift work which means it's very hard for me to find time to study. Hai... what to do...

But let's just say I get accepted, it's yet another challenge for me. That means I have to persuade my current company to let me go without the need to compensate them. If they insist that I do, I will just have to give up the other job opportunity.

Many people may think that I'm indecisive, and do not know what I want to achieve. But they are wrong! I know myself. Though I can be fickle-minded at times, but ultimately, I know what I want. It's just that time and opportunity does not always wait for you or is given to you whenever you want them. We're always racing against time and luck. I have given up hope talking to these people, so I shall just concentrate on what I want to achieve in life.

All in all, I believe my decision to stick to the travel and leisure industry is correct. Look at all the interviews offer I have from this industry. (I only applied for these positions in this industry, except for SIA though. Got rejected because I did not have a degree.) Can you not believe in fate? I cannot. And only time will tell everything. (Right Reg?)

Stick to your own principals, values and beliefs. With determination and courage, I believe you will excel to be an excellent man, leading a fulfilling life.

Start of Work

2007-06-22T21:30:00.000+08:00

I finally started work last Friday at Changi Airport!!! (Shall not mention the company as we're strictly instructed not to or otherwise, we will be charged!)

It is a totally new experience for me. Every thing, every body, every place, every bit. I still cannot believe that I actually signed the bond. And mind you, it's 3 years! How long can that be, how short can that be... Many terms n conditions attached too! I'm not too sure whether I'll like the job or the people here as yet. Jobwise I think I'm still adapting, many trainings to undergo and a year of OJTs and probation. As for people, so far so good, but not sure about those I'm going to work with. There are too many people in this company, too many departments, too many faces. But I can say that it'll be exciting, and how long will this feeling last, I'm not too sure. But I definately hope it will turn out well for me. And with the experience, I hope to venture further into the airline/airport industry. It's something which I know I can advance a career in, something of my interest. Wish me luck peeps!

Oh, and I've got my uniform. Goodness, the jacket is real big for me! And after so many years of not wearing one, I felt so uneasy wearing it to work for the first time today! Yeez!!!

My First Meme

2007-06-11T18:50:00.000+08:00

Miss Lim!!!

You've really got me thinking! Thanks ar!!! Haha.. Well, you've got your wish.. here goes:

Two names you go by:
1. Joanne
2. Li Hua (Only my family can call me Li Hua)

Two things you are wearing right now:
1. Yellow T-shirt
2. Green shorts

Two things you would want (or have) in a relationship:
1. Mutual Trust
2. Respect

Two of your favorite things to do:
1. Watch ou xiang ju(s) and variety shows
2. Eat

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. To get rid of my sore throat
2. Cash

Two pets you had/have:
None.. never had pets

Two things you did last night:
1. Had dinner at Teahouse @ China Square (yumyum)
2. Watched 'Wang Zi bian Qing Wa'

Two things you ate today:
1. Pork
2. Udon

Two people you last talked to:
1. Dear
2. Li Rong

Two things you’re doing tomorrow:
1. Sign my bond
2. Meet up with my sec sch buddies

Two longest car rides:
1. To Malaysia
2. From Malaysia to Singapore (Car ride sia.. limited places...)

Two favorite holidays:
1. Chinese New Year
2. My B'day! Haha...

Two favorite beverages:
1. Passion Green Tea
2. Ice Lemon Tea

Four things About ME!

Things you may not have known about me:
1. I have to have at least one of my pillows to smell to sleep every night.
2. I ceographed 'concerts' for my sisters to perform in front of my family when I was in Primary School.
3. I don't like to bathe early in the morning.
4. I still have a liking for dancing.

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Deputy Brand Manager at Voxy Nails
2. Events Marketing Executive at Sentosa
3. Telemarketeer at Starhub
4. Marcom Officer at ITX Solutions

Four places I have lived:
1. Farrer Road
2. Bedok
3. Whampoa
4. Tampines

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Mcdonald's french fries
2. Hot and Sour Soup
3. Chilli Crab
4. Rum & Rasin Ice Cream

Four places I’d rather be right now:
1. Dreamland
2. Taiwan
3. Australia
4. In the Cinemas

The following people have no excuse to not update their blog with this meme:
1. Celine
2. Regina
3. Eugene
4. Shufen
5. Reina

A Song Dedication To My Friends

2007-06-07T01:08:00.000+08:00

This is a song which I want to dedicate to all my friends out there. Ignore the MTV, listen to the lyrics. I love you guys! ~ 因為有你 by Mgirls~

Birthday Celebrations

2007-06-07T00:22:00.000+08:00

When I turned 21 last year, a question suddenly surfaced.

Why do people organize birthday parties for themselves?

Is it because:
1) They want attention? They want people to know that it's their birthday so that they can receive presents and feel like a princess?
2) They want to share the joy of being born into this world, get their blessings and wishes?
3) They want to show their gratitude to their loved ones whom have been showering them with care and concern all year round?
4) For fun? So that he/she will be able to see all her loved ones at one place, one time?

What other reasons are there?

I used to organize parties for myself too. Once in Primary 5 or 6 (can't really remember which year), another time in Sec 1, and when I was 20. It stopped there. And I think I will not self-organize parties anymore unless there's really a special reason. Like I strike toto or something! haha... dream on yeah...

People normally celebrate their 21st bday on a very high profile, but mine last year was just a trip to Thailand with my dear. Weird huh? And on my actual day, he fell sick which meant that I still have to take care of him. It was something different for me. Celebrating my b'day in a different country. Memorable. I will never forget.

Some other birthdays which I will never forget would be when I was in Sec 3 or 4 (also can't really remember which year it was) where my SC buddies celebrated my 'sista' and my bday at East Coast. That was a sweet surprise. Following that was when I was 18, had 3-4 bday cakes that year. Next was during my last year of Poly. My class celebrated my bday for me in school. Haha.. another surprise treat after lessons. I think that's about it. Haha...

I have to admit that I love surprises. Especially more so when I'm the one planning and executing. Haha... *evil grins*... I like to see those smiles on the bday kid, or the one who has been tricked. Even though they have being fooled, but it's because we love them, we want them to be happy, that's why we even took the effort and time to surprise them. It warms the heart. This kind of satisfaction is indescribable. I will still continue to surprise my friends if I have the ability and time to.

On the other hand, I seldom get surprises. And to be frank, those few birthdays which I was being surprised, I partially knew that I'll be fooled. Haha.. it's rather obvious actually. Haha... pardon me. Try harder! But I seriously feel that it's when you get such surprises or when people message you on your birthday that you truly know who your true friends are. In fact, they don't even need to celebrate your birthday with you. Just a message on your day will do. Don't you think so?

Oh well.. this year will be another quiet one for me.. cos' my plan to go overseas is ruined!!! Have to stay in S'pore to work!!! Never mind, I'll self-entertain.. like what I've being doing yearly.. haha...

Good day to all!

Welcome to Shah Alam!

2007-06-05T00:29:00.000+08:00

Remember I used to go back to my grandparents' house every school vacation? I still remember some friends asking me how it looks like.. is it a kampong.. haha.. I went back in April this year and finally took some pictures.

This is my granny's precious kitchen. Actually, she doesn't like to cook, but because of us, she does. Really appreciate it. Her speciality would of course be those spicy dishes and sweet chicken! Yummy!

This is my grandfather's Toyota mini car. Very old already. He used to have a Mercedes too. It's at my Uncle's place now. I used to help him to wash his cars last time. It was an enjoyment. Now we cannot even get the car started!

This is part of the living room. It's rather big. Can put up a stage there. When I was small, we used to hold mini 'concerts' in the living room. Really hilarious! Now.. no more. Sometimes I really wonder where our courage came from! Haha...

The other side of the living room. We will normally play hula-hoops, skipping rope, or ride our motorcar around the living room. It's big enough. Also, all the masak masak.. haha.. those were the days...

The dining room. All of us have our own personal seats. Mine is the one nearest to the mandarin orange plant. Against the cupboards.

It's a 2-storey terrace house. My granny loves living in a 2-storey house. Come to think of it, my grandfather is really amazing. From being poor to broke, he worked hard, saved, and can buy 2 houses, 2 cars, and bring up 4 kids. He was the sole breadwinner. Salutes!

One of the guest room. See the big full length mirror? My favourite! Haha...

Another guest room. There was once which my sis and I slept at this room. I remember we were crazy about James & the Giant Peach during that stage. So when we could not sleep, my sister will tell me the story and retaliate the whole script! The result of having nothing to do! Haha.. *my granny like to rearrange furnitures. So many furnitures you see now, have being rearranged.

Erm... laundry area? Haha..

The master bedroom. We all sleep in this room because it's the only room that has aircon. Even when my uncle, auntie and my cousins come over, we will all squeeze and sleep in this room. Very cozy and fun actually.. haha!

The house is not that small. There are actually many other rooms, like backyard, restroom, second living room, 3 toilets etc... but didn't take photos of them. See if I have the time to upload of myself when I was smaller...

I miss those days when holidaying in M'sia. No worries. No pressure. No stress. Just like a princess. Haha...

How well do you know me?

2007-06-03T16:10:00.000+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here

SHE+飞轮海<<谢谢你的温柔>>MTV

2007-06-03T01:41:00.000+08:00

Thanks for understanding...

What I truly feel...

2007-06-01T01:43:00.000+08:00

Below is an email exchanged with one of my sec sch buddy.... she managed to sparked a nerve somewhere in me to write such a long narration of my personal thoughts... haha... she studies pyschology.. may be that's why.. gal.. u have the power! haha..

Thought i'll post it here so i don't have to repeat myself again n again.. n so that u guys can know me better... the mysterious me... revealing here... haha... think u know me well, think twice... haha...

Here goes:

No worries girl... i'm more than glad to have friends who cares about my well-being... tt is one thing i'm really proud of...

Actually, alot of things happened and changed after sec sch days... esp after poly... it's when i have to start taking responsibility for my hsehold expenses.. like my house loan, internet n phone bills etc... the burden i'm carrying is enough to suffocate me.. but i'm hanging on.. tho at times i'll get really tired n would want to 'escape' from reality. That will normally last for a couple of days, at most till one week, when i've fully regained my energy, then start battling again. So i really enjoy meeting you girls. Allows me to forget about all the problems which i need to deal with. It's encouraging and heartwarming.. really...

Actually, this hse loan problem starting last year. When finally, HDB wouldn't let my mum defer payment anymore. $1500! My goodness! That is like my salary after CPF deduction. And I would never offer to sacrifice all of my pay just to fund the loan. That would lose meaning in me working. I know, some pple think tt's it's filial piety, that looking at my family's situation, i should step out to help. but i beg to differ. cos i noe no matter how much i help, who will truly appreciate me? even now when i fork out half of my pay to help, i still get nagged n complains and grumbles. so no point. i better save for rainy days. i'm not tt generous afterall. haha... but i've been a good girl.. giving my aunties n uncles ang paos when it's CNY.. kinda proud doing tt every yr.. haha.. at least it shows i appreciate their help since young right? haha... *thick skin joanne here praising herself*... haha...

Anyway, then when we had to start paying $1500 every mth, my mother wanted us to move to whampoa, to my uncle's place, so that she can rent out the bedok apt to fund the loan. But i objected. First of all, i really hate whampoa. i used to live there. din like it. Secondly, i'm sick n tired of moving. i've got so adapted to living in bedok... it's like... what?! i'm back to this kinda lifestyle again? u know... the same feeling i've got from pri 4 to6.. moving from one place to another.. not having a home u can call it yours.. it's frustrating... that day at the airport, i was sharing with winnie n reina abt this. that no matter what i'm not moving out. but 2 days later, my mum called for a family meeting. saying that she really cannot afford to fork out anymore money. so we're left with no choice but to move. i raised all questions, doubts, suggestions.. but none seemed to work. i give up. i gave in. i'm tired. exhausted.. really.. i've got no more energy... i've alr got to deal with getting a suitable job, all the expenses.. n what's more this. i've also got to be my sisters' pillar of support.. what else.. really exhausted.. so i told them, we'll move. so there... the story behind this whole issue..

You know, even with the job thing. I'm so disappointed. It's like.. my mum n granny.. does not understand y i want to resign even without finding another job first. I tried to adapt, to compromise. but i really dread going to work every morning. i find no motivation. no determination. lost the meaning of working. i see no future. so i want to leave. really to my limits alr. but they do not understand. they choose to think tt i'm not thinking abt the family, tt i'll have no money to give them.. to support myself.. they have omitted to think abt me n my feelings... yes, some others might still say tt based on my family situation, i should stay put. but i've thought so much for my family, i feel that it's really enough. u noe, if i could, i would have straight away accepted the job offer which carries a lower pay but of my interest...it's really something i like.. but cos of the low starting salary which my mum didn't favour.. i gave it up... now i'm like... regretting it? i also duno if i'm regretting.. but i'm young, i should have just went for it. who knows what i might end up doing? but what's the point of talking abt it now.... i can only hope for the best.. now.. i'm going to take a gamble cos i believe there's prospect.. still, i'm not confident if i'll be offered the job in the end because of my medical records.. just praying hard... i guess i'm beginning to escape from reality.. cos when pple ask me abt jobs.. i'll be so reluctant to talk abt it.. try to brush them off.. start to feel irritated.. i noe they are concerned.. but u noe.. it gets to my nerves at times.. sorry if i've offended anyone.. but yeah... i would like to be honest with u.. afterall, u're my trusted friends...

Back to moving out, i'm still deciding if i should move with my family to whampoa or go stay with jason. he lives in tampines, so if i'm working at the airport, it's very convenient for me. but i'm not sure if tt's the right move. cos i dun wan to be in debt to him n his family.. or make it seem like it's definite we'll be together for life.. many things are unpredictable.. i duno.. i still have a few more mths to tik.. till sep/oct.. still thinking...

My sisters do not go bk to msia now.. all trying to work part time to earn extra cash for themselves, which i'm glad. my granny is in spore now.. will be going to US to visit my uncle soon.. so we're all trying to sort out our stuff n pack for the move.. hai..

See how life have changed for me? It's really dramatic.. i should go write n produce dramas.. but at times, i'm glad i get to experience these events, make me learn more n grow up. taste and savour the sweetness n bitterness of life. but too much isnt a gd thing.. makes me pissed off when i see pple who does not know how to appreciate life, the pple ard them n luxuries... really pissed me off... pardon me.. but if i could, i'll give them a peace of my mind.. haha... then again, i do not want to spoil our friendship, so i chose to keep quiet. haha..

Oh well... what a long reply.. haha.. i finally told someone all my thoughts. i've told a couple of friends before, but could not bring myself to narrate the whole story. Afterall, not many can understand what i'm feeling or have been through. Thanks girl for being my 'listening ear'... really appreciate it... sorry for taking up ya time n boring you... how i wish u were here to join us for steamboat on sat.. haii... nvm, let's org another one when u're back! Anticipating!

Love ya loadz gal!

Am I the girl whom you thought I am? Understand me better now?

Disappointment in Life

2007-05-31T21:53:00.001+08:00

When you say you feel disappointed, have you ever thought why is that so? Is that because you have done your best and have worked hard for it? Or is it because it's not your ideal result?

Many people like to use this word disappointment as and when they like. However, many do not understand the actual meaning of this word. This is another description, a feeling. It is a result of something which we have done, leading to such an 'error'. But because of pride and integrity, we always do not admit that we have not committed ourselves and have not performed our best. Disappointment is just an excuse.

Is there anything wrong with admitting your faults? Where is the simple honestly in life? This is the basics of living life to its fullest...

To: 6 Sep 1985

2007-05-30T14:44:00.000+08:00

To: 6 Sep 1985 (You know who you are...)

The above song is dedicated to you. Read the lyrics. I think it best describes your feelings now.

SHE光临棒棒堂

2007-05-30T14:22:00.000+08:00

2007-05-27T16:47:00.000+08:00

I think I've caught a cold...

It's Cheryl!

2007-05-24T19:52:00.000+08:00

'Only dinner' babes, look who's in the clip!?

Overcoming Problems...

2007-05-24T19:16:00.000+08:00

Oh my Oh my!

Letting nature takes its course.. haha...

When problems get settled, I somehow feel uneasy too. Cos' it was too good to be true. Haha... you know, when it always does not go smoothly for you, but suddenly it does, you really cannot believe it. Haha...

I mentioned in my last post that we will be renting out my bedok apt. Well, we still will, but not so soon cos' my uncle rented out his flat to his friend for 3-4 mths till renovation is completed. And within these few mths, he will give my mum the rental money he collected from his friend. So we can still play with time, find an appropriate tenant etc. Good good!!! At least not so rush! Phew...

Next is my mum's citizenship. She finally got it! Thank goodness! With all the GST credits, this is a good opportunity.

Then my problem with my friend. We finally straighten things out. So it's back to normal.. i hope.. pray he will not do anything funny...

Workwise, i've settled my medical checkup alr. See if it goes through smoothly anot. Hopefully it does!

Haii... feel so relieved now...

What do you do when you have problems? Think of a solution? Ponder over it? Go destress? I know all the while that the situation won't change even if you keep thinking about it. Action need to be taken to resolve the various issues. But at times, you get so suffocated that you just need to destress. I think talking to friends helps for me. Even though there will be no solution, but at least I feel better.

So my friends, I want to tell you all that I am so proud to have you guys as my friends. If anybody ask me in this life what am I most proud of, it will definitely be my friends. Not all of course, selective. But I am.

It still happened...

2007-05-22T12:32:00.000+08:00

It still happened...

Something which I was trying to avoid since last year... it still happened...

My mum, granny n a sister is going to shift to my Uncle's residence to stay, whereas I will cohabit with my 2 younger sister at my current flat, and rent out 2 rooms. It's finalized. And it's happening in... about within 1-2 months? How fast yeah?

Seriously, it might be a blessing in disguise. I don't know. But I know that my mum cannot afford to fork out money to fund the monthly house loan any longer, and I am getting very tired of her grumbling about money all day long. So if we rent out 2 rooms, and with me topping the money, she can get rid of the house burden. But it will be heavier on me though. I have to bear all the water and electricity bills, etc etc. Of course, it will be spilt among landlord and tenants. But how would I put it.. it's totally different cohabiting with your family and strangers whom you don't know. If it's your friends, that's still not too bad, but strangers... living with them. It's a brand new experience.

Have you ever thought of moving out of your parents' apartment and rent a room by yourself or bulk with your friend etc? Actually this issue is very common in other countries like M'sia and Taiwan, especially when the country is so big with so many states. But I guess in Singapore, it's so small that we take it for granted that we should reside with our parents until we get married. Or until we have the ability to buy our own apartment. I guess I am going to experience that now, another step taken at a age much faster than others. I'm always quicker in these ways... not positively. What the heck!!! Haha...

I need to relieve stress... I've been thinking about this till I can't sleep last night.. only slept for 2 hours. Damn tired.. but yet, I can't go back to sleep now. Gosh!

For One More Day

2007-05-18T16:53:00.001+08:00

For one more day, what will you do?

If I have one more day, I will blog about all my personal thoughts, write to various people, and watch all the shows I like. I will also treat my family and friends to dinner. And make them feel on top of the world. And when I'm gone, I want them to realise that it's not a loss as my writings will accompany them throughout the rest of their life. They can pass it on to others, making me 'alive' at all times.

I have just completed reading Mitch Albom's latest novel- For One More Day.

The story narrates about a middle-aged man who wants to commit suicide as his life is messed up. His wife have divorced him, his daughter have married without sending him an invitation. His dream dashed. His parents dead. His job sucks. So he attempted suicide. But... instead of passing on, he met his mom who died 8 years ago. And with his mum, he spent a day meeting various important people whom taught him how much he must cherish life, and his mother.

My favourite phrase in the book: A child who understands his/her mother is a child then completely grown up.

Understand?

夏日初体验

2007-05-18T16:47:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I just feel like flying away to an island for a holiday. To a place where it's peaceful and quiet. Let my mind rest. Let my brain think.

My Role Model

2007-05-18T16:27:00.000+08:00

Most of my friends who go sing ktv with me will know that I am a big fan of SHE. Who are they?

SHE: Selina, Hebe & Ella

They are a Taiwanese trio girl band. Founded 6 years ago, they have already released 10 albums. They have also stepped ahead to experience hosting, acting, writing, composing etc. What they have experienced in these 6 years, I believe not many others can imagine. Of course, the reason being is because if you're not a celebrity or if you're not given the chance, the dream of realising the mentioned above is very small. But ultimately, what I want to say is the courage and motivation these 3 girls have given me, and many others. They have made me realised that with determination, hard work and perseverance, one will succeed. We must also cherish whatever opportunity that comes before us. Be it just playing a minimal role, it is also very important as success comes from a team, a group of people, and not just one person. Take for example, if you're penning a novel and is a hit among the masses, who else should you be grateful towards? The publisher, editor, your readers. If without these people, will you be able to relate your story to the public? The answer is no. The same goes for a newspaper article. You may think that you have worked hard enough to have earned yourself credit on the papers. But think about it, it's teamwork again. If without the reporter's recommendation, will you appear in the news? So it's all related. Everything, everybody, it's all connected.

We always tend to forget about the people around us. When we get too comfortable with each other, we will forget our roots and take each other for granted. I believe at a certain point in life and in a friendship/ relationship, we all do. Sometimes we just need to take a little break, sit back, take a deep breathe, and reflect on what have been happening. Then we will gain back the synergy and spirit that was instilled upon us. But sometimes, people simply just chose to ignore. They opt to think that they are better off without help from others. Everyone needs help. So when there is, gracefully accept it and be thankful.

I believe SHE have done so. They accept each task and challenge magnanimously and with an open-heart, they work towards it. They cherish, they care, they strive. Even when there are setbacks, they stand up, learn from their mistake and move forward. This is what makes them so successful. Because of their optimistic and courage, they succeeded. So I take them as my role models.

Who is your role model? Do you have one? If you don't, go find one. Everyone needs a role model so that they can work towards a goal and achieve a standard they have set for themselves.

Dedicated to Eugene Tan

2007-05-12T01:34:00.000+08:00

It's Friday the 11th!!!

Ok, it's the 12th alr i know, but let's assume it's still Friday night yeah?

Anyway, here's a very short note to thank one of my buddy.... Mr. Tan HZ... (you know who you are!) Here goes... *drum rolls*:

Thanks for buying me the latest SHE's album! Really shocked to receive it, but yet felt appreciated and overjoyed with your enthusiasm and effort taken in choosing and buying for me a really early b'day gift.. haha! For a moment I thought you wanted to pass me food! Haha... cos' what else can you pass me!? So when I saw what it was, I was really shocked... pardon me for my astonished look... must be horrifying! Geez... Seriously, you could have kept it for youself, but your generousity touched me... am indeed very grateful and fortunate to have you as a friend...

Hereby, I wish you all the best in whatever you do, and may the girl of your dreams appear soon... you deserve someone like an angel! (No kidding! And to tell you the truth, you always remind me of Hei Ren from Taiwan, so hope you can find your Fan Wei Qi soon!)

I would also like to take this opportunity to let you know that I'll always be around whenever you need a listening ear, or simply just company. It doesn't matter what it is about, just know that I'm just a phone call away. Always available for a friend like you....

THANK YOU!

My Mom

2007-04-30T18:08:00.000+08:00

Arrr.... I'm so damn pissed! Why can't my mum or anybody else understand what I'm going through? It's not that I enjoy what I'm doing now. But do you really know what I'm doing?! Nobody does. Although I may seem to be restless or idling, but I am actually not. I am upgrading myself, and working on a long-term project which I hope to share with everybody in a few years' time. It's just that I cannot show my family or tell them my true feelings. Why not? Cause they will worry... and it will not do good to anyone. Hence, I'll rather portray an optimistic me in front of them. BUT... my mum is still complaining about money... money money money.. always money... complain all the way to KL to my granny.. and my granny comes back to tell me about it... ask me to loan her money.. come on! If i have extra, I would. But i am really tight now... real tight... think about how much I contribute every month when I am working. Think about it! I am generous enough already. Look at those adults who don't even give their parents money. Do they know how to appreciate my effort? Damn it! Does anyone truly understand what I'm going through... arrrr....

SHE- 中国话

2007-04-29T18:35:00.000+08:00

You... Stop!

2007-04-28T01:22:00.000+08:00

You made me realised how much I still love him...
You made me realised how much I can sacrifice for him...
You made me realised why love can be blind...
You made me realised what I truly want in a relationship...
You made me realised what I want for my future...

YOU... you know who you are... though you will not be able to read this now... and might never get the chance unless my book is out... I still want to let you know...

Stop waiting for me...
Stop wasting your time...
Stop pinning hopes...
STOP!

Last of all, you made me realised that there is really never such a thing as platonic friendship especially if you've became close buddies...

Everybody! Do you believe in such friendships? I used to... but now... I don't think so...

Dancing with soul

2007-04-20T22:12:00.000+08:00

For all who love to dance...

Here I go again...

2007-04-20T18:37:00.000+08:00

Here I go again...

It was so close.. so close to success... and I just had to make a mistake at that crucial moment. I was given a chance, a chance which I should cherish.. and be more alert for... but in the end.. haii... so disappointing.. I could have got it lor...

Seriously, I'm beginning to think if I've made many mistakes which could have been avoided... It's like.. everything is going wrong... what's wrong with me and my life..

Feeling demoralised and depressed...

My Dream

2007-04-18T16:11:00.000+08:00

Remember I blogged about my grandfather?

That night itself, I actually dreamt about him...

I recalled talking to an Indian couple who just announced that they are intending to tie the knot. Out of a sudden, they told me that my grandfather is behind. I turned around and saw a very weak and old man. He has aged, and if I could not recognise his dressing, I might not have identified him at all. Because he was holding a walking stick, hands trembling, struggling to walk each step... very very old indeed.

I froze. I was shocked. I could not move. It was only when the couple urged me to help him that I realised what had happened. I stood up, moved over to my grandfather, and realised that he was hunching so much that his height is only till my chest. He used to be taller than me, around 175cm. But now... I just stood there, hugged him and cried. Cried my heart out. Though it was only a dream, but I can feel the reality, the pain I endured when I cried. It's really piercing...

The next thing I know is we were all seated. My grandfather then told me that I may be feeling low during this period of time, but everything will fall into place. Be patient and have confidence in yourself. The sobbing me felt relieved. Because everytime when my grandfather assured me about something, I will feel more secure. He then went on to tell my friends not to get married too early, that there might be others out there more suitable for them. Ok, I'm not really sure what that implies, but the dream ended there.

It felt so real. You know... as though he has really paid me a visit. And it is not the first time that he has done so. Many times already.. yet, it still seem so real. But it's the first time, I see him aged, with wrinkles and shagging skin. Do we still aged when we have passed on?

Haiii... makes me miss him more.. really sad...

Our Thoughts

2007-04-17T00:51:00.000+08:00

I just read a post from Squarefaced's blog. She said that a blog is probably just a platform for us to sort out our thoughts.

Yes, I agree with her.

We always want to voice out our opinions, but at times, we don't know who to turn to, or where to start from. So at this point of time, a blog is the best channel.

I think I am making full use of my blog to throw all my 'rubbish'. Haha...

Hey! Ever wondered if your life was surrounded by music? Your different moves, emotions, scenarios.. just like those in a drama? How do you think it will feel?

Some songs I found on youtube sang by various singers...

Freedom

2007-04-13T22:39:00.000+08:00

How do you define freedom? Do you lack freedom when you're in a relationship?

I have a friend who is recently bounded by relationship problems. Though the exact root of the problem is not known, but freedom was one of the suspected issue.

For myself, I always feel that you can never have total freedom unless you migrate to another country where you do not know anyone or unless you're alone in this world without any relatives or anybody who cares for you. Why is that so? Because of your family, your decisions might need to change if it does harm to them. Because of your friends, you might want to forego certain luxuries just to stay by their side. Because of your partner, you want to protect them and always make them happy so you're willing try out things which you previously do not like. Does this make sense? Think about it...

So how do we make ourselves less tied or bonded to all those mentioned above? Destress. Using what method you might ask? Ask yourself that question! Only you have the correct answer for yourself.

I personally frequent the KTV when I am feeling tensed up or when I am irritated by a problem. It always helps me to release stress and make better decisions after I've calmed down. What is yours?

On the other hand, speaking of relationships, if you are in a relationship, do you miss being single? It is very contradicting right? When you are single, you want to get attached. But when you are attached, you are attracted to singlehood. Sometimes I do miss my life of being single. Not that my relationship with my bf is not smooth, but you always have to think of his feelings before you make any move. Resulting in me not doing many things which I would want to do. And guess what's the best thing? We are totally 2 opposite poles- north and south. Yeah, people say opposite attracts. I really believe that now. What I like to do he doesn't. What he adores I don't. Complicated yeah? Last time I would try to give in and give it a try. But in recent months, I totally don't feel like doing so. I thought to myself: I want to live happily, so why should i force myself to do something that I don't like? So I rejected his suggestions at times. Of course there are certain times when you really have to be sporty and play along, especially if it's matters that are closer to the heart. So calling all lovebirds: Love each other, but live the life you want to as well.

Oh well, signing off now...

'I'M BACK!'

2007-04-13T17:41:00.000+08:00

Woohooowoooohooowooohooo!

I'm back! And when I say I'm back, I meant my energy, passion, strength and determination!

Eversince after my trip to Genting, my health has been failing me. Ok, it's not that serious, but I was experiencing headaches everyday, plus fever and all. Quite bad. But now, hooray! A trip back to KL really helps!

Yupyup, I went back to KL for a week. It's been a really long time since I've actually went back. Those who know me since my schooling days will know that I always make trips down to KL every holiday. It's my second home. However, work has prohibited me from making frequent visits. Afterall, there's a limit as to how many annual leave we can apply. So peeps, make full use of whatever holiday you can now. You will learn to cherish it more when you've entered the working society.

So anyway, I spent 3 full days shopping in M'sia. Really, shop until one of my nails actually got detached from my skin. It's not totally off yet, but peeling. Kinda pain tho'. May be it's because of my nail polishes. Too much chemicals. Guess it's time for me to go without polishes for awhile. Eeee.... ugly yellow nails! Yucks! Oh welll....

Oh, I must share this with you guys, though it's nothing much, but it's amazing. I found the cleanest public toilet in M'sia! Haha, see! It's peanuts. But for those who visit our neighbour, you have to agree with me that their toilet system really sucks. I don't understand why they can't keep the toilet clean. Haii... but anyway, yep, the cleanest is in... MID VALLEY MEGAMALL! Trust me, I felt so relieved seeing the toilets there.. haha... tho' the water is kinda yellow, but it is very clean... thumbs up! Hahaha...

This trip back brought back some memories too.

I kept thinking of my grandfather. My only grandfather I've known whom passed away when I was 15. I remember that it was on a Sunday night. It didn't feel good. Cos' my grandfather actually went to the doc in the morning, but refused to let any of us accompany him. Then when we were watching TV in the afternoon, he fell asleep. I don't know for what reason, but I called him. Probably because I cooked campbell soup, so wanted to ask if he wants to drink. I forgot whether he drank it or not. But he seemed very tired. Anyway, I went on to my studies as I had a Geography test to sit for the next day. At 7+, my granny anxiously called for help because there was no response from the bathroom. My grandfather was taking a shower and passed out. I could see him from the 'feng' (Pardon me, don't know what you call that in English. Or is it a hole?). I can remember really very clearly. Still fresh. It was then that struck me that my fear has occurred. Because for the past few months, I've been praying for my grandparents' health. I don't know what made me do so but I just did. Sixth sense. But it happened. All was too quick. Too quick that I could not cry when his death was announced. At that point, I have to admit I sort of made myself cry. Cos' I was not only shocked by the information, but also shocked that I was not able to cry. I asked myself, am I heartless or what? It cannot be, because I am really close to my grandparents. It was scary. Really, seeing my granny so heartbroken makes it even worst. I can also never forget how my Uncle cried. My fave uncle speeded all the way from KL to S'pore when news was broken to him. It was really late by the time he arrived. And the casket company was already here making preparations. I was in my room sleeping, but woke up halfway. And I heard a guy crying. Literally crying, like a little boy been beaten up after being scolded by his parents for being naughty. I know it's my Uncle. And I guess besides being remorseful, he felt guilty too. For not being an obedient son and whom did not spend enough time to provide a luxury, or at least a few good years, for his father. I know, but I've been keeping quiet. Till this day, I don't think anyone else knows about this. It has been a secret I've keep for years. And let me tell you, this Uncle of mine is a comedian. He makes everybody laugh. Makes everybody happy even if he is down. And seeing him like this makes me very upset too.

All of us were trying to surpress our feelings. But when I actually saw my grandfather in his coffin. I broke down. Totally! I felt weak in my knees. I had to hang on to my Auntie for support. It was like, reality suddenly hit me in the face. I think I scared all my relatives. Cos' they were all rushing up to me to comfort me and to make sure that I was ok. Even my granny. That period of time was a torture, but I saw lots of real emotions from people whom I've never seen. My 2 Uncles especially. One is whom I've introduced earlier on. He broke down again one afternoon, but I know he was trying to lighten the atmosphere after that cos' he actually cracked jokes. The other Uncle is a doctor who was in America when it happened. He did not shed a single tear when he came back. None at all. He even managed to fall asleep when we sent my grandfather. But that night, after all was settled, he broke down. Manz! Even speaking of these makes me wana tear now. Do you know how painful it is? To lost a love one when you did not even expect it and when you have not provided them, or reciprocated them with love and life of luxury? If you have not been through this before, you can never imagine how painful it is. Serious. It is worst than falling out of love. Much more.

Pause.....

Life changed after that. And I must add that they, over in the other world, really protects us. I scored well for my test which I did not even study. I managed to pass my 'o' levels which I rarely studied for too due to my mother's illness which I shall not elaborate here. I... I don't know how to describe the miracle. But here's one to share. After the whole thing, my granny remained in M'sia while I came back to S'pore. But I really missed my granny alot and wanted her to come back to S'pore. She could not though as she have some documents to wait for and settle. I was depressed. The next day, I dreamt of my grandfather appearing in my dreams to tell me to wait patiently and he will try to do something about it. And with that promise, I got a call from my granny the next day to tell me that she has received the documents and will make a trip to S'pore soon. See how amazing it can be? So don't say you don't believe. They do protect us. I believe celebrities will agree with me if they read this post. Go take a look at those people, one example being Luo Zhi Xiang aka Xiao Zhu. He rose to fame after his father passed on and bear in mind, that was his 10th year in showbiz already. See, you have to believe it.

Oh well, I feel much better now. Cos for the past 7 years, these feelings and thoughts have been kept inside my heart. I always wanted to tell people how much I miss my Kong-Kong (that's what I call my grandfather), but had no courage to. I take this opportunity now, to tell him:

'Kong Kong, I really miss you alot alot alot. Really. I have many regrets, many things which I want to tell you, share with you, provide for you, but I can't and will never have the chance. I will give your share to Poh-poh, and try to provide the best I can for her while she is still with us. No promise though, but I will try my best if it is within my limits. I hope you are doing fine and regardless, always remember that I love you and will keep you in my heart always.'

Folks, cherish your love ones when you can. You will regret it when you can't. Trust me.

Here's a song that best represents my mood now.

By Jacky Cheng- Wo zhen de shou shang le (I'm really hurt.)

Lollipop 棒棒堂

2007-03-30T17:54:00.000+08:00

If you asked me what I've been doing for the past one week after my return from Genting, I will tell you I've found a new boyband group- 棒棒堂 !

Manz! They are one talented group!

It all started from this show called 模范棒棒堂 founded by Taiwan's Channel V. Hosted by Fan Weiqi, she leads the show with 15-20 other boys aged from 14-24. These boys are selected out of thousands other applicants, due to their individual personalities and talents. From dancing, to singing, imitation, games, etc etc, they have it all. Have really earned my respect. They made me realised how timid and small the guys in Singapore are. They are willing to express their emotions on screen. We here do not even dare to cry in front of our friends. What's wrong? I concluded that it's due to culture difference, but I would say being yourself is always the most couragous thing to do. We always hide ourselves behind many masks. Even celebrities. Look at all our local celebrities. They are all so glamourous, so attractive and captivating, but that's about it. Nothing special, unique or distinguisable from the rest. Look at those overseas, or let's say the nearest, Taiwan's. Each of them carries their own character. No need for all to be glamourous and bright. They are them themselves and that's what makes them stand out and popular.

And the guys in the show need to be able to withstand fallbacks because they have segments where a member is eliminated from the show every quarter. Having to face the humiliation and critics from the public is already enough, and most of them are students, which makes it even more unbearable for their age. But all of them got through it. You've got my support guys! In fact, I think Singapore should buy this show and air it on our local television. A really inspirating story!

Oh well, let me share with you some of their acts before anything else! Enjoy!

STRESS!

2007-03-30T17:36:00.000+08:00

HELP ME SOMEBODY!

I've been having severe headaches everyday since I recovered from my fever and flu. It's horrible! The feeling is intolerable! It's like something pounding the back of your head or somebody squeezing your brain for juice and more juice! Arrr....

Actually, I think the root of this problem might be due to stress. Not sure if it is, but everytime when I am stressed, these symtoms will start to appear. I recently watched a documentary on stress and symtoms are:

- Do you experience headache whenever your work is finishing or when you have nothing to do?
- Are you not able to focus every morning after you get up?
- Is your body aching?
- Are you losing your appetite?

The above are some symtoms only. And I've realised that I've got most of it. Moreover, I did visit a doctor once last time to diagnose these and he said it could be due to stress. And the next few times when I have these, I more or less know it's related to stress.

Actually, research says that stress is not just attainable when symtoms appear. It can also arise when there are no symtoms. Hence, all of us must occasionally let our hair down and play as hard as we work. Only you can cure your own stress.

For myself, I think the root of it comes from work. I was struggling to accept a lower paying job or wait for a higher prospect job. Interest VS Money. And guess what!? I even visited a fortune teller cos' of this! Haha... ok, my mum's idea. But well... there's always a first time! But I have to warn everyone that this kind of thing is can be believed but don't get hooked. It's not healthy.

Anyway, I finally decided to accept the lower paying job, but just the day before when I wanted to go sign the employment letter, they told me that they might need to reselect due to more applicants applying for this position. Manz! I felt so disgusted! I mean... what kind of professional ethics are you talking about here? So I've decided to reject this job regardless of the result. And true enough, my headache reduced. So I concluded that it's due to work. Oh well... there's always another door for me right? I just need to be patient. As they say, 'xiu xi shi wei le zou geng yuan de lu'. Oh well oh well, I'll just take this time to practice my driving and language. Been wanting to polish up on my Malay and Japanese. Guess this is the best time... jia you!!!

Same to all of you out there too! There is no dead end!

Dilemma

2007-03-21T17:42:00.000+08:00

I'm in a dilemma now.

Actually, there is no need for me to be in a dilemma now when there's no offers yet. But... what if it happens? I need to forecast and plan ahead...

On my left is a job which I have strong interest in. But the pay is low, as low as what I used to received as a fresh graduate.

On my right is a job with good prospect and definitely a higher pay. But they will only let me know if there is a second interview at the end of the month of early next month. By then, the other company would have already told me if I'm selected for the job. And if I am, what should I do?

Making comparisons, I will choose the company that can offer me a better job prospect over the lower paid. But there are a few more interviews to go and is time consuming. Worst of all, what if I do not get the job? And I've rejected the other one? Gosh... what should I do? Can somebody direct me? Give me a signal? I need assistance!

Passion overrides money- but to what extent? If the pay offered is higher, I would have no qualms at all. But truth is, I still consider the $ factor. So what kind of person am I? What am I more inclined to?

Can you answer me?

Memories

2007-03-11T15:51:00.000+08:00

Memories are everlasting... (and will remain in your heart forever...)

Memories are eternity... (even after you've passed on...)

Memories can never be forgotten... (unless you've lost your memory...)

Memories are sweet... (even if it used to be horrendous...)

I've been spring cleaning ever since Friday. Manz! There are really lots of redundant things which I can discard. Many things are which I've kept since my secondary or even primary school days. Things which I felt hold a sentimental value, thus was worth the keep. But this time round, I suddenly felt that there wasn't a need to retain anything that I won't use. After all, I've already, and will always, keep these memories in my heart. I suddenly realised what it meant by freeing yourself from all things, that you cannot bring these with you after you've passed on. It's true. Look at all those wealthy man... can they bring their riches with them? The answer is no. Everything has to be left behind. And those clearing up their 'mess' for them, will then come to realise how materialistic this person is, or how sentimental this person is. Or even worst! How mysterious this person is. What kind of person do you want to be?

I want to be a mysterious figure. Not because I am selfish and is not willing to share what I have with others, but somebody who helps others and who does not demand to be reciprocated. Of course, if I am it is good news. But when doing a good deed, we must never demand something in return. That defeats the purpose. Totally!

But then again, help within your means. Do not over-exercise or give more than what you cannot afford. Cos' remember, ultimately, you only have yourself to lose to. Nobody will be willing to sacrifice more than what they have for you. Unless, they are talking about giving up their life. Then that's attaining ultimate enlightenment...

My Aspirations

2007-03-06T22:22:00.000+08:00

Today marks my first day of holiday... NOT!

I had to go back to the office today to settle a staff clearance form which I was not inform of. And the best thing.. HR have not received my letter of resignation yet! That explains why I mentioned that the company is disorganized!

Anyway, I must say that leaving the com has its pros and cons. Pros because I am free- again! And can thus pursue what I want to really do... cons is because it's rather emotional leaving my group of buddies (you know who you are) and that I'm foregoing a high-paying position. Though it's not really that much, but for my age to earn $2k+ every month... and its basic salary, no commission involve... it's quite a sum.. but oh well, tt's it! Chapter close.

Let's welcome a brand new chapter...

I'm actually waiting for this particular company to shortlist me for an interview. It said by this weekend.. hmm.. i wonder if they really will... the pay there is much lesser than what i've previously been offered, but as I've mentioned before, it's the passion that matters. Hence, if they really offer me the job, i'll accept it. Let's pray hard!!!

But before I close my chapter, here's something to share... i'm going to appear in Sentosa's new advertisement! Hahaha.... it was a very last min thing. They needed some girls to act as tourists at Underwater World. Hence, we were called to be extras. Haha..but it's really a small role... cos there was a main in front of us. So if it's really a fast shot, then pple might not even notice. Haha... still, it's interesting.. my third try at filming (tho the second attempt din appear on screen.. haha).. hopefully there's more to come...

*PS: This has really got me interested in acting... haha...

It's Party Time!

2007-02-27T18:16:00.000+08:00

After 2 months of endurance, I'm finally putting it to a stop. I've tendered.

Lots of soul-searching was done over the past 2 months. I've questioned myself again and again to see if this is really what I want to do, what I enjoy, what is good for me in future. Unfortunately, the answer is no. I am too coped up on this island. I need fresh air. I need the city. I need freedom and passion and the drive. All of which is lacking on the island. I've decided to pursue my dreams and follow my heart. Thus, my decision.

So what's on for me for the next 2-3 weeks before I get a new job... holiday!

I want to go to Taiwan or Australia. But unfortunately, money is the BIG problem. I need to take extra care in spending cos' being jobless for a month can be killing. Moreover, I've got cash committments. Hopefully, I'll be able to get a job soon. A job which interests me and which is suitable for me. In fact, not only the job, but both the company's culture and management style as well. Pray hard.... !!!

So I guess it's probably Genting or a cruise for me.. but thing is.. my bf can't get leave next week! Have to see if he can get for the 3rd week le...

'If you don't take risks, you will never get to taste the sweetness of success."

My Weekend

2007-02-11T20:58:00.000+08:00

We finally held our stayover!

Only that it was not at somebody's house... haha... cos' initially we wanted to bulk at someone's place... save money... but decided on a hotel instead. Easier... can mess up the place without having to bother much! Hooray!

It was great fun! We took so many photos. Near to 400 over just a night. Can you imagine! But I guess half the pictures were all either candid or posed shots. And when I mention posed shots, it's not those that are just staring at the camera lens and smile, but with actions. Really hilarious! Those who didn't sleep actually pretended to be bulgars trying to steal our bags. Haha...

I dozed off at 5+.. could not withstand it any longer. We were chit-chatting and as usual, I was busy changing my sitting positions to keep myself awake. But I happily went into dreamland after several struggles. Haha.. the girls had a hard time calling us up the next day. They tried various methods... such as trying to set the wake-up call.. playing sounds that sounded like those from toy guns etc etc. It succeeded after don't know how many sounds though.. haha... only 4 hours of sleep since 5am till now.. better sleep earlier tonight!

We had a surprise birthday celebration for a March baby, and belated for 3 others. It was really hard to suppress the surprise and suspense as we literally brought the cake into the room, but thankfully they were not that observant. Haha... Ultimately, our motive for this celebration is to make them all happy. This is what I want to do for my friends to make them happy. Even if it is only for a short period of time, it is worthwhile.

We played Cluedo too... a boardgame which I have not played for many years, and which I have completely forgotten how to play. Haha...

All in all, it was fruitful and enjoyable.

Our next plan: An overseas trip together!

Are you a scanner?

2007-02-08T09:58:00.000+08:00

"I can never stick to anything."

"I know I should focus on one thing, but which one?"

"I lose interest in things I thought would interest me forever."

"I keep going off on another tangent."

"I get bored as soon as I know how to do something."

"I can't stand to do anything twice."

"I keep changing my mind about what I want to do and end up doing nothing."

"I work at low-paying jobs because there's nothing I'm willing to commit to."

"I won't choose a career path because it might be the wrong one."

"I think everyone's put on this earth to do something; everyone but me, that is."

"I can't pay attention unless I'm doing many things at once."

"I pull away from what I'm doing because I'm afraid I'll miss someting better."

"I'm too busy, but when I do find time I can't remember what I wanted to do."

"I'll never be an expert in anything. I feel like I'm always in a survey class."

If you ever said these things to yourself, chances are you're a scanner- a very special type of thinker. Instead of being wired to only one interest, you're attracted to many others. Because of your diversed interests, you might have be called indecisive, or even been taught that you're doing something wrong and that you must try to change. But you've been misdiagnosed. You're a different creature altogether.

What you've assumed is a disability to be overcome by sheer will is actually an exceptional gift. You are the owner of a remarkable, multitalented brain trying to do its work in a world that doesn't understand who you are and doesn't know why you behave as you do.

Extracted from 'Refuse to Choose- By Barbara Sher"

You should break the norm. You need to break the norm. You must break the norm.

Life and Death

2007-02-01T10:54:00.000+08:00

I have been quite disturbed by the death of a Taiwanese idol actress recently- Xu Wei Lun

I believe many others are too, at least some of my friends and sister are.

Life is so fragile, so vulnerable, so weak. Many people come and go at anytime, anyplace. But why is it that we're so shaken and affected by her death?

I told my friend: "Probably because she is an idol actress, young and pretty, therefore, in our eyes, we take it for granted that she will never die, or at least not for now, not at such a young age."

Of course, saying that she will never die is rather exaggerating. But we must admit that we take young lives for granted. We never expect their lives to end so early.

So the saying goes: When you learn how to die, you learn how to live. I finally clearly understood this meaning. Are you doing what you're loving and enjoying now? Are you happy? Will you die without regrets? Have you made accomplishments that have satisfied you?

I met up with a poly friend whom I have not met for half a year already 2 days ago. She asked me: Have you ever wondered what you want to carve on your tombstone?

Hmmm...

I have yet to come up with the answer, but the moral of the story is- why wait till when 'the thing' has happened then fred? Why not do something about it when you have the ability to? I totally agree.

Up to today, 5 days after her death, I still cannot believe that she has left the world. It's just so unbelievable...

I want to take this opportunity to tell all my friends and loved ones that I love all of you, that regardless of what happens, all of you will always be in my heart...

Extracted from Rainie Yang Cheng Lin's Blog:

我們每天都在學習.都在成長....
這次瑋倫的事情.也讓我學習到許多許多...
只是...
付出的代價.未免太大了!!!
我不想失去她.真的不想...
上次吃飯還說好下次該她請客...
怎麼...就沒有下次了!!!
瑋倫離開了我們...
有太多的不捨...
太多的想念...
她的離開...
讓我知道自己該學著堅強...
我盡量...
但是...真的好難!!!
到現在.我還是覺得這是個玩笑.是一場惡作劇...
總覺得她沒有離開過...
呵...人最會自己騙自己了!!!
雖然傷痛...
但還是要面對~~~
所以...
我尊重瑋倫的決定...
身為好朋友.我更應該支持她!!!
老婆...
希望你在另一個世界能夠快樂...
也許...
時間會沖淡我們的傷痛...
但...
我們不會因為時間而把你忘記...
瑋倫.一路好走~~~
下輩子.還是要當姊妹喔!!!

SCGS

2007-01-31T22:33:00.000+08:00

Extracted from Squareface's blog:

Formidable Ms Heng steps down

28 December, 2006 (20:40)

YOUNG girls cowered at the sight of her, pranksters knew better than to set off stink bombs in her class and a former Defence Minister once declared she had the better army.In a black and white photo, Miss Rosalind Heng looks formidable in army uniform, beret and boots.

As a teacher in charge of the National Cadet Corps at the Singapore Chinese Girls School (SCGS), she came in for praise when the late Defence Minister Lim Kim San inspected a drill put up by her girls in 1969.

He told then principal S.K. Tan: ‘You got a better army than I!’

Miss Heng had joined the school that year after graduating from the then University of Singapore. She became principal in 1979 when she was 34, stayed 38 years, devoting her entire career to the school.

‘She was very hardworking but rather loud,’ a retired SCGS teacher, Mrs C.O. Lee, 64, recalled with a laugh.

‘When she scolds, the whole school knows!’

The towering headmistress with a weakness for floral-print dresses became synonymous with SCGS, which was founded in 1899 as a school for seven Straits Chinese girls. It has about 2,200 students now.

Today, she is stepping down and giving way to the new SCGS principal, Madam Sim Ay Nar, formerly head of Xinmin Secondary.

Miss Heng, 61, is among the last of Singapore’s legendary principals who stayed at their posts and became identified with their schools.

To Ms Sie Siok Hui, 45, a former SCGS teacher, Miss Heng’s retirement marks the end of an era.

She reflected: ‘When I was a trainee teacher 20 years ago, we heard of principals by word of mouth. ‘Fearsome’, ‘awe-inspiring’, ’slave-drivers’, ‘uncompromising in standards’, ‘undying dedication’ were usually associated with principals of prominence.’

But many of that generation of principals have retired and the Education Ministry rotates principals so that they bring new ideas to schools and learn from their new environments.
Today, 50 principals, including 17 being made heads for the first time, will receive their new appointments.

Miss Heng is among 20 who are retiring. The others include Mrs Goh Hwee Choo from Tampines Junior College, Miss Chan Mee Leen from Chestnut Drive Secondary and Mr Loh Ai from Yuhua Secondary.

Miss Heng stands out also for heading a full school with primary and secondary sections.
She declined to be interviewed, but those who know her well related the successes chalked up during her years.

SCGS produced nine President’s Scholars, gained independent status for its secondary school in 1989 and moved from Emerald Hill to its Dunearn Road location in 1994. It has also won many fitness, dance and value-added awards.

In the 2006 school achievement table for secondary schools, the school was ranked in the top band with five other schools.

But Miss Heng’s legacy goes beyond facts and figures.

As she has said before: ‘What I want for the girls when they leave school is that they have confidence in themselves, that they are emotionally stable girls, happy that they’ve had a happy school life.’

More than anything, students and staff say she stands for integrity.

Nothing infuriated her more than parents who thought they could get their daughters into the popular school by offering a hefty donation or trying to impress with their connections.

School registrar Julie Lee, 52, said: ‘I tell them no, but some insist on seeing the principal.
‘So I say, ‘Sure, but let me do you a favour. Please do not mention anything about donating or drop any names. It’s sure to throw you to the back of the line’.’

Despite competition from other top-ranked schools for bright students, Miss Heng decided against introducing the Gifted Education Programme or starting an integrated programme to bypass the O-level examinations.

There was pressure from old girls and parents for the school to have these programmes, but Miss Heng insisted that she did not want to cause divisions among her girls.

And where other independent schools worked at raising the cut-off for enrolment at Secondary 1, SCGS retained all its primary pupils who qualified for the secondary Express stream.

So this year, for example, it took in girls with Primary School Leaving Examination scores of 201 to 265.
Some might criticise Miss Heng for being conservative, but Mrs Lee, who was taught history by Miss Heng, begged to differ: ‘She’s a historian, and makes decisions with a good understanding of where the school has come from.’

The school emphasises character development and good values and aims to produce ‘kim geks’ - a Peranakan-Hokkien metaphor for women who are treasures because they embody the virtues of filial piety, gentility, kindness, propriety and diligence.

SCGS board member Euleen Goh, who is chairman of International Enterprise Singapore, said of Miss Heng: ‘She has left a deep imprint as a principal in the way she has cared for each student, so that they have a confident, well-balanced life.’

On a lighter note, Miss Heng’s reputation of being fearsome is such that some swear she has eyes in the back of her head.

An SCGS legend has it that one class who tried to play a trick on her received a taste of their own medicine instead.

The girls had planned to ambush her with a stink bomb in class. Miss Heng turned up, wrote a few history questions on the blackboard and said, without turning her head:
‘I think I have a cold. Could you close the windows?’

After the windows were shut tight, she said: ‘Okay, girls. Do the questions, and I’ll be back.’
She left, slammed the classroom door shut and left the pranksters with a lesson to remember.
Beneath her no-nonsense persona, staff and students say, there lies a good sport prepared to laugh at herself, and someone who never fails to give support to staff or students in need.
Once, she arranged for an entire level of girls to visit a drug rehabilitation centre to help a girl who had gone astray, and to show them the harmful consequences of drugs.

Even though she has retired, Miss Heng plans to help out at SCGS as an adviser as long as she is needed.

But one thing not on the cards, contrary to a hot rumour in circulation, is marriage.
Mrs Lee said with a laugh: ‘That rumour follows her with every long holiday she takes.’

Squareface's personal thoughts

Both my alma maters have progressed beyond recognition, and both principals have changed. All those “I’ve gotta pay a visit to SCGS/NYJC one of these days” will not form on my lips again because there is hardly any reason to. The few teachers who are still there, or the even fewer that recognize me won’t really pay attention to my minimal past existence as a schoolgirl-in-blue, do they? The meepok uncle has passed away too, providing one more reason not to visit…but I guess it’ll be nice to just take a look, and reminisce in the happy times…the hydroponics garden, the koi pond that we all stoned in front of from time to time, the amphitheatre where we always played scissors-paper-stone, the spiral staircases, our own auditorium where we had countless performances & talks, the canteen that was rampant with crows (that ate our food too) the band room (that used to be the music room which we had to share with the choir, which caused some disagreements), the courtyard where I have done push-ups with the trumpet section, as well as waited furtively for the ‘O’ levels, and pubescent girls in their armpit-perspiration-stained uniforms.

If I didn’t read this article about Ms Heng stepping down, some emotions might have remained unstirred for a long time. I’m glad Ms Heng is gonna be like a Principal-mentor. Ms Heng has been like the hallmark of the spirit of SCGS, so without her, I don’t know if it’ll be the same.
No distinctively-coloured bras showing under the PE shirt or exposed under the pinafore, no fingernails that shows white parts when the palm faces you, no outrageously-coloured hair accesories, no earrings more than 0.5cm in diameter (and only one pair of earrings allowed i.e. no multiple piercings), skirts must not be more than 3 fingers above the knee, no ankle socks, etc etc. I loved the fact that we could wear our PE shirts for the whole day instead of having to change in and out of them for PE lessons like most of the other schools. Okay, I don’t miss those rules, I just miss having that sense of belonging to the mass of people who had to follow them. I miss sitting in the canteen with a group of buddies at every recess time. I never really had to worry about sitting alone because I always had good friends around. I didn’t care much about the crow snatching my drumstick away, because heck, I had pals. But now…

Us SCGS girls will probably meet again in 2050, when the time capsule will be opened…
By the way, I didn’t know Mrs CO Lee retired too!

10 years in that skimpy blue dress. Okay, although I’m not part of the typical SCGS kimgek calibre, nor do I identify myself as very SCGS-fied, my love for SCGS, is.

Piggishpig's personal thought

I miss SCGS.

Sincerity-Courage-Generosity-Service

This is what SCGS means. We are kimgeks... we are known for our peranakan culture and our poise. We, represent the new-age women of the century.

Being a student of SCGS for 10 years, I carry with myself a bagful of memories when I graduated in the Year 2001. I remember the many happy times I had with my friends, the sad times, the naughty ones, the rebellious us.. every bit and pieces.. all seemed to have just happened yesterday...

I feel proud being part of SCGS's history. More so when I tell others that I'm from SCGS and they will be like 'wah, clever.. one of the top schools...' all these remarks made me feel very honoured.. serious... though many pple have told me i have missed out on alot of things in a mixed school, i beg to differ. They have also missed out on a single-gender schoollife. It is the same. The culture, environment and teachings being imparted from not only our teachers, but even the office staff or just the cleaning lady, all these made a difference in our lives. I believe every SG girl who reads this post will be feeling the same.

My only regret when I left SC was that I was not proactive during my Sec school days. Though I must admit that I have made many blosom friends, but it is something which I feel regretful about. Speaking about this, there is also something else which I regreted... and that is not making frequent visits after I graduated. I just didn't have the time, the mood, the spirit. And when I meet teachers on the street, I simply just continued walking. I assumed that they have forgotten me. Or did they not? That's why people always say 'live life without regrets'.. regrets can be a torture...

BUT... i still do keep in contact with my SC buddies.. something which i am very thankful for.. I love you girls.. i love SCGS...

Disappointment

2007-01-16T22:55:00.000+08:00

Disappointed... period.

Waste of time...
Waste of money...

No mood for anything...

Scholarships & Education

2007-01-14T17:50:00.000+08:00

I am currently, seriously, contemplating, if I should apply for a SPH scholarship in Journalism.

1) Do I really like the job scope of a journalist?
2) Am I into current affairs?
3) Is my grasp of the English language strong enough?
4) How am I going to support my house loan if I take up and am accepted for this scholarship?
5) Do I want to be bonded for 4 years?

I kept asking myself these questions. Whether I should or should not. Like what shakespeare said: To be or not to be. That is a question.

I sought advise from a couple of people. Encouragement was what I got. Some even said I have the kind of look and personality of a journalist. Hey! Is that a compliment or an insult? But looking at the fact that I do enjoy reading, writing, and the media. It is really worth thinking... any advice?

On the other hand, I am also looking at whether I should apply for a SIA scholarship. Of course it's not being an air stewardess but more administrative, either dealing with Marketing or Business Development. I have a keen interest in travelling, but since my preference is not with flying onboard, I am considering a second option.

Options there are.. bringing me to think if I should continue with application for a part time course for A. Marketing and Management OR B. Marketing & Advertising. See! Contradicting right? Diverse interests. That's the problem! We want alot, but are we able to shoulder the responsibility? I am totally confused. Confused with what I should decide on, uncertain about my future if I chose this option over the over, and if I will 'live happily ever after'... with satisfaction, with peace, and without regrets...

"Are you happy?"

Service Quality

2007-01-09T12:38:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my third visit to White Dog Cafe @ VivoCity. It's getting better and better with each visit. And I'm not referring to only the food, but also the service.

I was feeling cold so I requested for a change in seats. Not only did they allow the change, they provided me with a shawl to further warm myself. Felt so at home! Food was superb too! I had triple mushroom soup, amatricana pasta and a pacific dory. Yummy! Delicious! Heaven! Seriously, it's been quite awhile since I've had such good food. All waiters and waitresses there were very attentive too. They attended to my every request in less than 10 seconds. And when they could not, they apologised repeatly, making your presence known in a very subtle manner. I enjoyed it. Totally satisfied! Ratings: 4.5/5

Yesterday was miraclously a service day. I went to Starhub to change my mobile phone. (Bought a Sony Ericsson 850 WHITE! Cool!) Though I have to walk from their sales shop to their customer service centre which were a few shops away, I did not grumble. Both sales associates attended to my needs with a smile and were very polite. This is the kind of service I'm looking for. They may not be grib talkers, may not be outstanding in appearance, may not provide top excellent service, but the feel that I got while interacting with them left a very deep impression. Yes, I may forget the person and what happened, but I will not forget the feel. (Another extract from Mitch Albom)

Service- "Comes from the heart, not from the face."

A Life, My Life, Your Life

2007-01-07T19:45:00.000+08:00

Apparently, it seems that everybody started 2007 on a wrong note. Is this a prelude or is this 'bitterness before sweetness'? I pray for the latter.

Into the new year, I believe we have all grown up- seen more, did more and felt more. Some of us may have a better picture of what lies ahead of us and what path we should take. Whereas some of us are still vividly living our days off, doing our daily routines,simply just passing each day as it is and not accomplishing anything which we could have.

New year resolutions... ha.. my friend's resolution is to make one for next year. I laughed. I thought 'Good one my friend! You might be the one in a thousand who fulfills his/her resolution.'
This is reality.
We want to do certain things.
We jot it down.
We make an attempt.
We are not self-motivated.
We give up without even trying harder.
The new year comes again.

I would like to share the new year with everyone by introducing a book I've been reading recently- Tuesdays with Morrie."When you learn how to die, you will learn how to live" Extracted from the book.

Have you all wondered what you can do to make a difference?

I have thought about it. I have made plans. Though it will not be done within this year, but at least for the future, I hope to leave my footprints around. I hope to see yours too...

Go free some of your time to read this book. Highly recommended! 5/5! It teaches you alot about life and what you ought to do with it. Are you really living it to its fullest, or are you plainly lost? This book speaks of various topics:

1) The World
2) Feeling Sorry for yourself
3) Regrets
4) Death
5) Family
6) Emotions
7) Fear of Aging
8) Money
9) How love goes on
10) Marriage
11) Culture
12) Forgiveness
13) The Perfect Day
14) Goodbyes

Each and every topic made me reflect on my life. The connections. The false impression. The ultimate result.

I just spoke to some of my friends about my problems at work.

My problem: The whole feeling is just not right. Though I might be earning quite abit, and that there isn't really any big issue, the feeling is just not right. I am not happy.

Passion VS Money

Are you looking for the passion in a job or going for the dollars?

I am a person looking for passion. I believe that without passion, you will not be able to exercise your capabilities to its maximum. Though I still have to admit that bread is equally as important and that when we consider a job, money is still one of the priorities, my see-saw tends to fall more onto passion. We have to make ourselves comfortable and satisfied with whatever we are doing. If we are not, what is the point? Imagine spending one year working on something you never have much interest in. You are wasting one full year which you could have pursue your dreams or have accomplished something else which is more satisfying.

I have a friend who is now in the Entertainment line. She struggled to make people believe that her dream will succeed. That she prefers passion to money. Here is what she emailed me when I consulted her about my problem:

For each of us, our progress usually depend on our power to dream and secondly, our faith that the dreams will come true. Dream is actually faith taking its first step but one that must be taken if we gonna progress. Greatest power in the entire world is the power of a creative idea. All success begins with a dream; someone said “There are no great men, only men with great ideas” and than we begin to see those ideas and those dreams turn into desire. If you want your dreams badly enough, you will plan and organize and re-organize and work until you get what you desire. And you will risk! Risking is a necessity if you want to see your dreams come true. Faith is making your decision without guaranteed success but faith without risk is a contradiction. Every time you make a choice, you take a chance and every indecision is within itself a decision. The absence of fear does not prove of courage, the play-it-safe people may not be afraid but it doesn't mean that they are brave. This priceless gift of courage can only acquired when u succeed being expose to possible failure. If your dreams are to come true, it is because you risked and than you have to begin, it's not enough to dream, you gonna act on it. "Beginning is Half Done" The most difficult thing of all however, is to wait for the dream to come true.“Endurance” Men who really succeed are men who really know that in every project that will be phrases where there's nothing to do but wait. When you expect success and you hold nothing back and you spend your last dime and gamble your reputation, confident that you will make it; you can expect to be successful. Many people never rise above their negative expectations; never become the person that they are capable of becoming, that is when their dreams begin to die. The higher achieving people continue to draw their confidence in themselves and believe in successful outcome. It's the prophecy of what can and will happen when you keep on dreaming.

"When plans are broken; God often has to allow our plans to be broken so that we, with him, can build bigger and better ones"

加油吧! 失望與挫折只是人生中的一段插曲不要沮喪努力走過它生命仍是無限寬廣"Work Hard. Disappointment and setbacks are part of life. Dont be disheartened. Work hard to pull through it. Life consists of vast opportunities."

We have only one life. Live it the way you want it to be. Not stuff yourself with other people's views, thoughts, opinions etc. But as another friend of mine commented- reality sometimes does not permit us to live freely. Part of us have to live for other people. Yes, this is true to a certain extent. Cos' no matter what we do, we will always affect someone else. But what can you do to make the best out of the whole situation and most importantly, enjoy the moments.

On the other hand, when I was feeling all stuffed up and bothered about whether to resign or not, an article depicting my situation appeared. It states:

You want the job. You went for the interview, impressed your interviewer, got it and can't wait to start operations. However, it gradually got mundane and boring. There are no challenges and you lose interest. You start to think that the grass is greener elsewhere. What should you do? Should you move on? But can you be certain that history won't repeat. That you will be feeling better in another place? You will never have an answer. It is a risk. Rather than gamble this risk, why not try out the position. Make the best out of it.

This was what some pple told me too. Give it a shot, give it a chance. Things might change for the better. Which prompted me to stay on and try out for another 1-2 weeks. However, friends who know me can already tell me that I've decided to leave. Haha... I guess I am just not willing to admit defeat to myself. Speak about me being stubborn!

We always brush by death. Even as we cross the road when a car is approaching, that is also considered as brushing by death. There have been so many reports recently, capsize of a ferry, Taiwan earthquake, Bangkok bombing, plane went missing etc. How peculiar that a plane can go missing! What exactly happened to it? What is the world becoming? Things are dead, but not humans. It is up to us to manipulate situations and decide what should happen. But we are simply misuing this privilege or right issued to us. I have came in contact with death. From my grandfather, to my mum and myself. All health-related. It is indeed scary. Scary because I am beginning to feel immunized to death. I suddenly felt that if it is time, it is time. There is nothing we can do about it. So while we are still alive, we should capitalize and make full use of the time that we have. So that we won't live without regrets. Even as the day comes when you have to go, regardless of how, you can close your eyes in peace and without regrets.

What do you really want to achieve in life? What can you do to make a difference in the world?

Happy New Year!

2007-01-02T23:17:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It's 2007! Finally! Been anticipating for this year to come! 2006 have not been very smooth-sailing for me.. but come to think about it, it's not that bad. Except for some hiccups with my previous boss. My episode in the beauty industry is over... it's now the hospitality and tourism field.. wonder how I will fare in this line. Hopefully it'll be better.

Anyway, my previous blog reflected that I was bored on my first day of work.. but guess what happened for the next few days? I worked from 9am to 10pm for the next 4 days till countdown... to be precise, it's 2am on 1 Jan 2007! My weekends were burnt... but thankfully the 1st and 2nd were public holidays.. otherwise i'll collapse.

Seriously, after a few days of work with them, I realised that they need to make some changes.. especially with their working speed and preparation process. They should get all printings done much earlier prior to the event. Not wait till a few days, or even the day before to clarify and get the decos set up at site. This way, they won't have to work till 5am in the morning! I'm not sure if I can change their perception but I'll try.. cos I myself personally do not want to work till so late at night! Or rather.. in the morning!

Other than the working hours, the people there are basically nice and friendly. Been introduced to quite a number of colleagues, but can't remember their names. Faces yes, but names no. Oh well.. I'll give myself 3 months to access if I am suitable for this job. If yes, I'll continue. Otherwise, I'll resign...

But whatever it is, I must say that the Siloso Countdown Beach Party was an eye opener to me. I've learnt quite abit about equipments and how a big company organizes events. I've also received comments and praises about the VIP area, which also set up and coordinated by me. Hence, the job satisfaction.

One thing I've definitely learnt... is that you better get your own transport on new year's day. No cab! I waited for 2.5hrs just to get a cab! Totally crazy!

Anyway, wish me luck for the new year.. 2007!

Menstruation

2006-12-22T19:37:00.000+08:00

Whenever my menstruation is approaching, while menstruating or nearing its end for the month, I will experience chilling pains. I am sure many girls will share the same sentiments as me. At times, I practically thought of just dying rather than enduring the pain every month. Probably mine is more serious as it occurs every month.

Today was the day for the month. I was watching 'Night @ The Museum' when I felt the pain coming. Being a movie-fan, I did not want to leave the theatre, but could not withstand the pain after awhile. And as expected, it came. (By the way, Night @ The Museum is not bad. Recommended! It's plot is very orginal and interesting. Perfect comedy for X'mas! Ratings: 4/5)

It did not stop then. Continued for the whole day till now. Luckily there is such a medicine called Panadol Menstrual. Otherwise, I think I will not be sitting in front of my PC typing away now. Anyway, being the curious me, I went to explore about menstruation and this is what I found from wikipedia:

Common usage refers to menstruation and menses as a period. Aside from its biological purpose, this bleeding serves as a sign that a woman has not become pregnant. (However, this cannot be taken as certainty, as sometimes there is some bleeding in early pregnancy.) During the reproductive years, failure to menstruate may provide the first indication to a woman that she may have become pregnant. A woman might say that her "period is late" when an expected menstruation has not started and she might have become pregnant.

Eumenorrhea denotes normal, regular menstruation that lasts for a few days (usually 3 to 5 days, but anywhere from 2 to 7 days is considered normal).[1] The average blood loss during menstruation is 35 millilitres with 10-80 mL considered normal;[2] many women also notice shedding of the endometrium lining that appears as tissue mixed with the blood. An enzyme called plasmin — contained in the endometrium — tends to inhibit the blood from clotting. Because of this blood loss, women have higher dietary requirements for iron than do males to prevent iron deficiency. Many women experience uterine cramps, also referred to as dysmenorrhea, during this time. A vast industry has grown to provide sanitary products to help women to manage their menses.

In many women, various intense sensations brought about by the involved hormones and by cramping of the uterus can precede or accompany menstruation. Stronger sensations may include significant menstrual pain (dysmenorrhea), abdominal pain, migraine headaches, depression and emotional sensitivity, and changes in sex drive. Diarrhea or loose stools are common for the first few days of a woman's period.[citation needed] Breast discomfort caused by premenstrual water retention is very common. The sensations experienced vary from woman to woman and from cycle to cycle.

Wikipedia also stated the various menstrual related products which I shall not elaborate here. If you want to find out more, search www.wikipedia.com .

Smile Pasta aka Wei Xiao Pasta

2006-12-21T23:49:00.000+08:00

Clips related to the show! Sit back and relax!

*Xiao yi Xiao, mei se me shi qing guo bu liao*

My 1 Week Break...

2006-12-21T23:18:00.000+08:00

Friday: Finally, it's the last day of work at _ _ _ _! So happy! Overjoyed! Crying for joy! Haha... It was quite a peaceful day as my ex-boss did not come into the office. Therefore, I had sufficient time to sort out my things and bid farewell to my colleagues. Day ended peacefully... and finally closing the doors behind me at 6.30pm...

Saturday: Started to watch 'Smile Pasta aka Wei Xiao Pasta'. It's highly recommended! Comical and hilarious! It also broke tv ratings too when it was being aired in Taiwan. The show stars Zhang Dong Liang, Wang Xin Ling, Gino from Kone and Xiao Qiao from 7Flowers. Unlike certain dramas where I will be fast-forwarding, I practically watched every episode, every bit. All very exciting! I shall save up for the VCD. Shall post a preview later on... After a few episodes, I went to meet my friends to have dinner at Vivo, then snow-seeing at Mount Faber. Though the snow part was not tt fabulous, at least it's another memorable experience with the gang! Beats going to Destiny again! The night ended at E-Max, Cineleisure. Oh! Haha.. speaking of this, I must narrate what happened when we were watching CRASH @ E-max. I was feeling very comfortable with my current position, hence decided to change seatings. As I got up to move to a corner, I lost my balance and fell on my back, with my bum on top of my dear dear's face. All of us starting laughing.. haha.. it was really hilarious! I was laughing so hard I could not get up. And the best thing was that we all didn't know that I actually hit the popcorn we were eating! It was all scattered on the floor and my poor boy... he had a mild concession.. haha.. really funny! My stunt.. *thank you thank you* What a night....!

Sunday: Continued with Smile Pasta, then went to meet my poly buddies to watch Eragon. Not bad... but got lots more room for improvement. Well, can't expect much from a 16 year old author! It's already an achievement! Ratings for Eragon: 3.5/5

Monday: Went for ultrasound @ SGH. The doctor told me that I am too thin, making it very hard to scan. EVERYBODY: I do eat.. I do not go on diet, neither do I fast.. I just cannot put on weight! Following that, went to Robinsons to visit my sisters and then Killiney to eat Chee Cheong Fun. Addicted to it already! There are many flavours/stuffings. There is unagi, durian, char siew, lobster, tom yam etc etc.. yummy! Ratings: 4.5/5

Tuesday: Met up for the first time with my new Sentosa Marketing Colleagues. There are 19 people altogether, including me. Quite a number! Basically, they are one fun loving bunch. Can see that. And can also see politics.. haha! I guess it's a common issue, just make the best out of it! We went to Vivo Gold Class to watch Eragon.. yes, again! But though it's a repeated movie, I enjoyed the Gold Class experience. Very comfy! We went on to have dinner at Bosses Restaurant after the movie. Good stuff! Gives their competitors a run for their money! And at last! I finished watching Smile Pasta! Ratings: 4.5/5!

Wednesday: Driving! My practical is in less than a month and frankly speaking, I'm not ready. Especially with my parking. Can't seem to remember the procedures. Gosh! I really hope to pass my driving next month. Desperately want a license so that I can get a car. I think it is very much more convenient having a car though expenses are higher. I joined the Vivo Franchisees for dinner after my lesson. They wanted to thank me for all I've done which surprisingly, I enjoyed working with them! It was a pleasure!

Thursday: Medical check-up at Raffles Tampines early in the morning.. which proves one thing.. I better start to sleep early, try out my routine and timing before I offically start work. Manz.. I really felt so slpy that I fell aslp on every cab ride from one place to another! And I think it is because of my lack of sleep that I was detected to have low blood pressure. Something which I dread cos' I am in charge of Events, and it will be highly sports related.. so if I have low blood pressure.. how?! Haii.. nvm, we'll talk about it again. Anyway, after my check, I brought my granny and my sis out to Bugis Street and Far East. Yup, my granny is hip! She won't mind all the youngsters' area, and actually enjoyed the shopping. I bought 6 tops and a shoe. All adding up to $200! Arrr... but let's say it's a consolation for me.. and a reward too! Shall stinge from tomorrow onwards!

Tomorrow will be driving and KTV. May be movie or Mango warehse sale.. see how ba... till then, good night!

*Muacks!*

How sensitive can she be!

2006-12-15T10:29:00.000+08:00

Hi Hunks & Babes,

I would like to inform all of you that I will be leaving my present company, bringing my last day of service to be on 15 Dec 2006 (Yup, it's tomorrow!)

After my departure, my duties will be passed to (name deleted due to privacy purpose), the Managing Director of (company's name deleted due to privacy purpose). You may contact her at the same office no or at her email: (email deleted due to privacy purpose)

In future, I will be moving on to do Events Marketing at a sunny island. May be we might bump into each other in future! Who knows?! haha... Anyway, i still hope to stay in contact with all of you. So if you have MSN, please add me. Otherwise, you may email me at piggishpig@yahoo.com.sg or contact me at my mobile. We can always gather for tea!

Till then, take care!

Regards,
Joanne
____________________________________________________________

The above is what I sent to my business associates to announce my departure. What do you think? How do you feel? Any feedback? My boss (soon-to-be ex-boss) said that I made myself sound so good and the company and her sound so bad. Please! Totally one word to describe only: SENSITIVE!

She also commented that I downgraded her and upgraded myself. Also mentioned that my writing skills sucks, need to improve, still got alot more to learn. If I don't know how to write, she can teach me. HELLO?! Though my English Language is not excellent, at least it is the best in this company! Look at your own writing skills, punctuation wrong, grammer wrong, tone also wrong. What else do you want?!

The best thing was that it was some 'kind' soul who forwarded the email to her. And I suspect that 'kind' soul changed my contents. Cos' my soon-to-be ex-boss said how could i mentioned I am moving on to a better job. OPEN YOUR EYES BIGGER! I did not state that I am moving on to a better job, though I would truly love to. But because of you, I did not! And this is what I got. Should have just phrase it that way. Might as well!

Arr.. so pissed off.. made my totally lose respect for her. I mean, is this what an employer/ boss is supposed to be? A good employer will accept this gracefully and wish her staff all the best in their future endeavours. Not criticize and make comments. CAN'T WAIT TO LEAVE! SERIOUSLY!

That's it! You forced me to draw a line with you after my departure....

Ella's New Show- Hua Yang Shao Nian Shao Nu

2006-12-10T16:50:00.000+08:00

"Sentosa! Here I come!"

2006-12-10T15:55:00.000+08:00

Yes! I've finally settled my resignation issue with my present company and will be leaving on the 15th this month. Long last! This has been a big problem, headache off my mind. Phew! Now I can look forward to better pay and prospect!

Which means... yup, I've found a new job! My new designation is called Events Marketing executive. Yes, no more a manager, but back to an executive. Some may find it hard to adapt, or put it more bluntly, downgrade. But frankly speaking, I think I still have lots more to learn. Afterall, a semi-govt company is still different from a SME. Or even if it's within SMEs, the working style and management between a big and small company is still different. And if you're wondering where I'm going to next, look at this post's title... it's none other than SENTOSA! (ok, I'm not sure if it's appropriate to mention work @ sentosa on blogs, but if it is not, I apologise. Tell me and I'll make sure this post is amended.)

I'll be starting work on the 27th this month. Exciting and scary! Afterall, it's a big company with many departments and people to liaise with. It's a big change for me. Hopefully I'll be accepted and will be able to blend in well with everyone quickly! Wish me luck! (And the best thing is that I have to attend the countdown party... with staff whom I do not know at all... how nerve-wrecking!)

But on the other hand, I am grateful that I am being given this opportunity to contribute to the tourism industry. Afterall, I did not come from a hospitality or tourism background. Hence, this is a consolation for me. Moreover, the Sentosa Integrated Resort winner has been announced already... the winner is... GENTING! Yeay! We will have a Universal studio in Singapore in future! All can be found in Singapore. Casino in Marina too! How comprehensive! Singapore also recently received its 9th millionth visitor last week. What a record!

Hearing that Singapore have made such achievements makes me really proud. I'm sure many others will feel the same sentiments too. Look at this island- transport is convenient, food is delicious and varietied, entertainment is compact and with the upcoming IRs, Singapore is sure to be the next one-stop desination for a perfect holiday. Though many will still opt to travel overseas to experience a different culture, I am sure many foreigners will also chose to come to Singapore. So it's a win-win situation!

Let's wish success to Singapore's tourism industry!

"Two heads is better than one. With team work and perserverance, we are already halfway to success."

To all finders... cum readers...

2006-11-28T23:17:00.000+08:00

To those who I do not know and have stumbled upon my blog, I thank you for taking time off to read my posts. Though it may not be as interesting as many other bloggers, but it is what I seriously feel is worthwhile to share. Some of them may not directly relate to you, but if you happen to be in the same situation as me in future, I do hope you can take me as a guide, helping you to make a better decision. If by then, you need a listening ear or need advises, feel free to drop me a mail or feedback with your email address. I'll definitely be here for you.

To those who know who I am... yes, though I did not state my actual name, but many people know I live by the nick: piggishpig... tata! YOU WIN! Haha... I apologise for not telling you earlier about my blog. For not sharing more about my thoughts with you guys. But I feel that some are personal, and if you happen to stop by, it's fate. Otherwise, too bad. But may be I shall release my blog URL to my friends one fine day. One day when I am ready. When I find that it has substance. Last of all, sorry dear dear for also not telling you about this. I cannot imagine you reading my blog and my every single posts. The feeling is awkward. You know what I mean? But most of all, I am frank to you verbally. That's all that matters right? You are the best!

To those who disagree with my opinion and have or are deciding to condemn me, I have no objections too. After all, nobody will be liked by everybody. I only hope that you have found that someone you like. Cherish them...

That's all for my speech cum announcement. Haha... till then, take care!

Jobless

2006-11-28T23:12:00.000+08:00

Now that I have tendered my resignation... , what am I going to do while finding the perfect job?

Shall I write a book?
Shall I read a book?
Shall I rent shows to watch?
Shall I go for a short getaway?
Shall I blog like nobody's business?

What should I do? Any advise?

I think I shall really concentrate on writing my book, or rather, a script. I want to write a script and send it to a media agency. See whether they are interested in my plot and concept. High likely not I supposed. But it's an exposure! Yes, I think I'll try that... wish me luck!

And hopefully I'll be able to find a job for me to start work by 1st Jan. I cannot have no income coming in. Will really be in a mess. Finance woes!

"HELP!"

I tendered my resignation!

2006-11-28T13:15:00.000+08:00

I finally tendered my resignation!!!

Yes, after all the long talk etc, I finally tendered. And as expected, it was not a simple task.

My boss tried to retain me. Even tried to 'threaten' me, saying that if I leave the company, it's meaningless for her to continue. She will just close the company. And you know what is the best thing?

Cos' I told her that I need to apply for financial assistance for my house loan and my sisters' education next year. Thus, I went to find the minister for help, which he then said that it's tough for them to help us due to my current financial situation. I sort of borrowed the minister's name. I know this is not right but I have no choice. You know, I do not want to sour my relationship with my boss and she is pitiful enough. If I tell her straight the reason why I want to leave, she will surely breakdown and probably just commit suicide. Not exaggerating but this is a high possibility.

We had a long talk over the phone about this which she insists that this is not the right way out etc etc... finally ending with her writing to the minister again to promise that I'll get my pay and cpf on time. But regardless of what, I shall still resign. My decision is final.

I'm so tired. Sometimes I wonder if I am doing the right thing. Cos' no matter what I do, someone will always get hurt. And more importantly, the pressure I have to go through. I cannot take it already. I need a breather! Someone bring me overseas! Haii...

"Someone will be hurt ultimately..."

Bankruptcy

2006-11-26T21:34:00.000+08:00

How do you define a bankruptcy?

Is it a person with lots of debts?

Is it a person worth our pity?

Is it a shameless... or simply an easier route to escape reality?

It has been reported that the number of bankruptcy cases from last year to this year have increased. In fact, the figures are rising year after year. Simply because people overspend and find that declaring bankrupt is the fastest and easiest way to escape creditors and debts.

My mum almost wanted to declare bankrupt last year. She was involved in a court case pertaining to car loans. She was supposely owing the car dealer $100k. How was she suppose to find the money? Impossible mission. Hence, bankruptcy crossed her mind. When I found out, I broke down. I cannot accept the fact that my family is going through this path. That we might have to move house again, or even if not, will have our creditors coming to our house claiming items to their credit. I cannot accept this. Ultimately, she abolished this idea. Thankfully, we were blessed with God's and Buddha's help. Otherwise, I really can't imagine what state I will be in now.

A year later today, my boss told me she have intentions to declare bankrupt. And this time round, I encouraged her. To be more precise, it's not her who is to declare but the company. This company which I am working in now is over $150k in debt. No matter how hard we work, how much we earn, it will never be enough. And looking at how my boss handle the finances, I doubt it will ever be cleared. Why did she end up in this state?

Reason: Poor financial planning and overspending.

My boss used to be a tai-tai. She can live life free and easy, drink her afternoon tea with fellow tai-tais, play mahjong and go shopping all day long, be it in Singapore or overseas. However, her desire to play boss persuaded her to start a business- with her husband's money.

Today, her husband is a declared bankrupt in HK and my boss have to take on a night job to support the family. How pathetic. How cruel reality is. And the most amazing thing, it all happened because of one person's poor financial management.

I will tender my resignation on 30 November 2006. Whether or not she will throw her temper at me, I cannot be bothered anymore. It's time for me to think for myself.

"Only people who help themselves will get help from others"

Moving Forward

2006-11-18T22:35:00.000+08:00

It's been a couple of months since I've talked about resigning. Have I resigned? Not yet... I'm still looking out.

I was been offered a job yesterday- Asst. Marketing Manager at a cafe. The pay is lower than what I'm receiving now, more hours, but if I'm talking about gaining experience in a F&B environment, this is a good opportunity for me. Should I accept or reject? Ultimately, I think I will reject.

I've finally found the reason why I have been rejected jobs and interviews. It is because I believe I can find better jobs elsewhere. Take for example now, I'm actually pinning my hopes on this job which I will going for a second interview this Tuesday. But I am in a dilemma.

As a Marketing personnel, whatever job at whichever company will always require me to work irregular hours and commit fully. I do not have problems committing fully, but I would love to pursue a degree. And if I do, it will clash with my working hours. What should I do? May be I should share my thoughts with the prospective companies which I am really interested to work in... yes, i think i should...

Wish me luck!

Job Hopping

2006-11-07T10:40:00.000+08:00

I am clueless. What am I doing?

For the past one month, I've been consistently sending in resumes to companies that not only has the type of job I am interested in, but also where I would like to work in. I received calls from a couple, went through the first interview, and when they called me to go back for a second interview, I simply rejected them.

My main reason for rejecting them is because I do not feel comfortable. I guess this is a very important factor for me in a career. Comfortable with the environment, with the people, with my job scope. How about knowledge? I recently rejected an interview whereby if accepted, I will be assigned the post of a learning and development executive working for a very big supermarket company. Pay will be paid on time, bonus given, in short, attractive remuneration package, but I just do not see the job satisfaction. However, that very minute when I rejected the interview, I sort of regret. Afterall, I will be able to learn alot and will be able to implement what I have learnt in my F&B business in future. I consulted my friend who told me that whatever job I chose, I must have interest in it. If not, what is the point? True... I felt relieved. Thanks girl... you know who you are...

Yes, I plan to operate a cafe in future. If not partnered with my buddy, I'll do a one man show. F&B is something which I see potential. As long as our concept is innovative, food delicious, there is pull factor, the business will thrive. Look at the market now, we see Fish 'n' Co, Swensens, Crystal Jade etc etc... how different are they from the Western store that sells even more choices at the hawker? They are even more expensive than the crab sold at coffee shops. So you see, branding... that's the key to success.

I once told a brunch of friends that I would like to franchise the toilet themed restaurant found in Taiwan. Got negative response as expected. I'm not sure if it's because I'm in the Marketing line or what, but things that I see, others don't. And yes, they do not expertise in this field. This applies to things which I took a liking to too. Upon looking at it, it may seem like a plain piece of junk. Add some accessories and it will shine. Get it?

That's why I really hope to start my own business and prove to others what I mean and where my ability lies in. Of course, I must comment that I have received lots of support, compliments and praising while at my present job. Thanks so much for recognizing me. I really appreciate it lots.

This Sunday, I will go to Sheraton Towers. For what? For the walk-in interview for a SIA Flight Stewardess. I'm not sure if I am cut out for it. But out of curiousity, I would like to know how far I can go to. And also because I am into travelling, culture and customer service now. I guess this is a wonderful opportunity for me to realise the above 3. Wish me luck!

Making Love Complete

2006-11-07T10:31:00.000+08:00

INVEST in YOURSELF... U DESERVE to BE HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL. Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe, that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child." Then he told the following story: Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play, not expecting much. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and put on a team shirt with a broad smile and his Father had a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat.

Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible 'cause Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing the other team putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over, but the pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the head of the first baseman, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever ran that far but made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to second base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team, who had a chance to be the hero for his team for the first time. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions and he too intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay" Shay reached third base, the opposing shortstop ran to help him and turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third" As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams and those watching were on their feet were screaming, "Shay, run home! Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the "grand slam" and won the game for his team.

That day, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world.

Shay didn't make it to another summer and died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his Father so happy and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

A Change of Culture

2006-10-06T01:29:00.000+08:00

Actually, I've been thinking of going overseas to work for a period of time, probably 1-2 years. Or should I say, stay there for a period of time. Countries which I'm looking at is Taiwan or Australia.

I have to admit that Chinese is in me. I cannot leave without hearing Chinese for a long period of time. This applies to music and shows. I am a fan of Ou Xiang Ju, Taiwanese Idol Dramas. Just ask me any and I'll be able to let you know whether the level of recommendation. Hahahaha....

Australia is another choice for me because I like the lifestyle there. Slow-paced and relaxed. Totally a different type of culture as compared to Singapore.

But anyway, what made me suddenly want to move to other countries is because of the change in lifestyle. Singapore is a comfort zone for all of us. No matter what type of problem we come across, we will always survive. But how about in other countries? How is it like? Will I earn for myself a spot in their country? Will I be able to carve a career there? How different is it from my present living condition? All these are question marks... no one will be able to give me an exact answer even if they have moved from S'pore to other countries to reside for a period of time. We need to personally experience it ourselves. Will I go? I don't know.

May be not. May be not for now.

Having more experience does not mean you're wiser!

2006-10-03T23:00:00.000+08:00

HAVING MORE EXPERIENCE DOES NOT MEAN YOU'RE WISER!

Bear that in all mind all of you! So what if you've tasted more salt? So what if you're 40 and I'm only half your age? That does not determine the wisdom and capability of a person. What matters is whether you have fully grown up from each scenario you face and if you've become a better person.

I feel sympathy for you. You are one damn poor soul. Do you know how to do business? If not, then listen to the experts! YOU- the franchisee! Listen up!

Now, many of you might not know what I'm grumbling about. Let me tell my story.

My company specializes in the nail business. Being a pioneer in this market, we created franchise programs so that we can have more outlets islandwide. Now, this particular franchisee which we just signed on is causing a hell lot of trouble for me. She and her other 4 partners are not communicating well with each other. They are so stingy but expects so much in return. They think themselves as all high and mighty and that they should be given immediate attention. Who are you to me? You don't even pay us administrative fee! But 'in return', pushes all the blame to me and my designer. We are 2 innocent figures in this whole project. And also the most heavy-loaded ones. Whenever there is a problem, we are the ones fixing it. Whenever the problem is solved, we do not get credits. Absolutely great right? Said that we did not communicated well to her, and that she is not happy. BUT, does not blame us. How contradicting! C'mon, don't put on a false front. We can see through you and that makes you even more ugly!

Seriously, I am really thinking of changing jobs. Not only because of the franchisees, but also because of the job dissactisfaction. I slought hard for the company. BUT:

Do not get paid OT but only replacement hours, which I do not even have the time to take cos' of the heavy workload I get
Pay is not justifiable to the amount of work I am doing
No bonus, no allowance, not profit-sharing, no commission for running retail stores
Do not get paid on time for both salary n cpf
Have to be on work mode even when I am off or on leave

Gosh... I really am reaching my limits. But, with the non-political management in my office, I'll surely miss them. Moreover, I have my own room, with personal stero and storage. This, I believe, I won't get to enjoy elsewhere unless I'm of a managerial level. However, I have doubts in such company. Will that lead to delay in payment? I've told my designer before, even if I have a heavy workload and am not paid enough, as long as I am being paid on time, I don't mind. Afterall, I'm doing something which I have interest in. You get it? I'm been bearing with this situation for 4-5 months alr. I practically have to ask for my pay every month. How many people can withstand that? Only my company staff. Some of them did not even receive their pay till 3 months later. I admire them for their loyalty and patience. But enough is enough. You have to speak up for yourself.

I'm currently now searching for jobs. Once I've found a position in an industry of my interest, I will resign. Final. No more hesitation. No more doubts.

Tokyo Juliet

2006-10-01T23:36:00.000+08:00

Finale!

I just finished watching the last episode to GTV's latest Taiwanese Idol Drama- Tokyo Juliet aka Dong Fang Zhu Li Ye. What can I say? I give it 4/5.

Tokyo Juliet revolves around a girl named Lin Dai Shui. She aspires to become a Top Fashion Designer and aims to defeat the ever powerful Chu Xing who stole a design she drew at an age of 5. He is her Number 1 enemy. However, the twist of the story comes when she fell in love with his son, Ji Fong Liang. Deeply in love, Shui is entangled between passion, dream and love. Watch how she juggles between the 3 and what she decided to do in the end.

One thing that hit me after watching this show is a phrase that says 'Ye xu li kai shi xuan zhe liu xia lai jiu hao de ban fai' which means 'May be chosing to leave is the best decision to remaining at where you are now.'

I totally agree with this phrase. Many people always choose to run away from their problems. They choose not to face it, thus allowing onlookers to classify them as cowards. But at times, there is really nothing we can do to resolve the issues on hand. Thus, leaving us to battle with fate. Some chose to adopt a change in environment- either go for a holiday or migrate. Some lock themselves alone in their room, depriving themselves of food, contact and freedom. There is really nothing wrong with escaping from reality, but make sure it does not hurt the people around you or cause a mountain out of a molehill.

But then again, if only life was as simple...

Zheng Yuan Chang- The Typical Gemini

2006-09-21T11:36:00.000+08:00

Zheng Yuan Chang aka Joe Cheng

He first appeared in 'The Rose' aka 'Qiang Wei Zhi Lian' about 3-4 years back, acting together along with S.H.E. With a lock of permed and long hair, he rose to fame and was recognised as a 'mei nan xing shuai ge ou xiang'.

With his Gemini personality, Joe tried his hand at hosting which was well-received by the audience. He melted girls' hearts with his captivating acting skills, touched many others with his matured words of consolation, gave hope to all who felt that the world is coming to an end with his laughters and supported those unfortunate ones who needed more attention.

I admire him for the effort which he had put in. The time he spent in trying to bring the most perfect image to his fans. And of course, the maturity and comical side in him. Yes, he is the type of guy I would like to have a relationship with.

Want to know more about him? Read the article below. You will realise how different he is from his appearance.

http://ent.sina.com.cn/s/h/2006-09-18/16481253208.html

Up till date, Joe have accumulated for himself leading roles in various Idol Dramas such as 'Ai Qing Mo Jie', 'Zhuang Qiu Xiao Zhi' and not forgetting the ever-popular 'Er Zuo Ju Zhi Wen' whereby he was acting along with Lin Yi Chen Ariel.

Split Personalities

2006-09-20T22:39:00.000+08:00

A client told me today that I have a soft character. Do I?

Miss, I don't think you know me well enough.

By character, I feel that I have split personalities. This is eerie. And. Dangerous!

Have you ever heard about a person having 2 personalities? Here's a definition from Wikipedia:

Dissociative identity disorder
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Edition (DSM), Revised, as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or ego-states, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. To qualify as dissociative identity disorder (multiple personality disorder), at least two personalities must routinely take alternate control of the individual's behavior, and there must be a loss of memory that goes beyond normal forgetfulness. This memory loss is often referred to as "losing time". These symptoms must occur independently of substance abuse or a general medical condition.

Nah, my version of split personality is not as bad as described above. For myself, I truly know of my existance and what I am doing. What I meant by me having split personality is that I react and response differently when facing different person and scenarios. Take for example at work and with my boyfriend. At work, I can be a very shrewd and independent player. But when facing my bf, I will somehow or other lose control to think logically or rather, want to depend on him. I guess part of the reason is because of my family background.

I come from a single family with three younger sisters. Since the age of 9, we have been moving from one place to the other, before finally settling down in my present house. That was when I turned 12. So 3 years, I've been running here and there. Do you know how tiring that can be? Nevertheless, I must admit that I was happy back then. Without 'my' father and his tortures, I've been relieved from sufferings. I am fortunate.

Back to the topic, as a friend and as a relative, I act differently too. Even when facing various groups of friends. To my Secondary school friends, I am a very jovial and crazy person. To my Poly friends, I am a very capable and sociable buddy. To others, I am very quiet and hard to get close to. To my family, I am weak but yet strong. So which is the true me?

I believe all... everyone has a few personalities.

My Entertainment

2006-09-19T00:23:00.000+08:00

I am a TV addict since young. And as I sit by the television set to watch my fave singers perform, I started to get addicted to performing.

Those who know me well will know that I adore this group of girls who are even younger than me since I was eight. They are known as 'M Girls' and 'Four Little Golden Princess'. Being artists of Wayang Tinggi Entertainment, they started out at an early age of 5-6 to sing. Therefore, I grew up with them over the years. Through familiar tunes that kids will hum, folk songs, Chinese new year, and now, their self-composed ballads. Many may not know them. And if you do, you might be puzzled as to why I am so supportive of them. Just one sentence to explain- I salute and am impressed by their spontaneity, hard work and preserver in the entertainment industry, still holding the torch which carries the flame of passion.

Can you imagine? Since such a tender age of 5 till now, your whole childhood is been given to the mass public. Everything you do is restricted. I doubt if they even know the 'freedom' which they have lost. And although they are now a household name in Malaysia (yes, they are girl groups from M'sia), they are still very humble and am still working very hard to promote their album to Asia.

We should be learning from them. To cherish all that they have had and opportunities that come knocking on their door. Not like celebrities these days, take the stage for granted and misuse it. You ought to go 'fan xing fan xing'.

And because of my adoration, I started to pick up singing. I like to sing. I like to entertain. I must have bored my family with all the performance which I have forced my sisters to learn and rehearse. But these are childhood memories which I will never forget. At least I have imparted laughter to my audience. Be it whether they are laughing at my stupidlity or my talent.

Xiao Xin Qing Fang- By M Girls from their latest album 'Nile River'

Yu Zhong Ji Jing+Rhythm of the Rain, By Si Qian Jing

Years passed and I got on to watching drama serials. Hong Kong serials were very popular then, but I was not much of a fan until when they started to broadcast mystery detective-police casefiles. (I am a reader of romance and mystery novels. But shalln't speak of that now.) However, what got me really addicted was Taiwanese Drama Serials. Guess which show? You've got it- Meteor Garden aka 'Liu Xing Hua Yuan'.

This show is a history in making. Because of this show, many started to watch taiwan idol dramas and eversince then, the market have been expanding and blooming rapidly.

Shows which I will recommend are Meteor Garden, It all Started with a Kiss, Love Contract, Devil Besides you, Mars, The Rose, Tokyo Juliet and many more. I shall introduce each and every idol drama when I have the time. And among the actors are some which I really take my hat off. I can see that they have worked hard for the status they have achieved today.

I pray that I will one day, be as successful as them, regardless of which industry I head towards.

Fei Ni Mo Shu- By Lin Yi Chen

2006-09-19T00:18:00.000+08:00

I love this song. It speaks from the bottom of my heart. The moment I heard it, I got attracted to it. This is a song which I want to dedicate to my boyfriend too. Listen to the lyrics.

Tributes to Ms Elizabeth Choy

2006-09-15T10:18:00.000+08:00

I have not been reading the papers for a very long time, but an urge niched me to read today. Hence, I flipped through the pages of Today Newspaper which read: "War Heroine Choy dies, aged 96".

For those who have learnt History, or even if you have not but have watched drama related series such as 'The Price of Peace', would have known about this remarkable figure- Elizabeth Choy.

'Ms Choy survived the beatings of her Japanese interrogators...'
'Ms Choy was once a Legislative Councillor- a pioneer woman politician during the infancy of Singapore's political development in the '50s; a founding principal of the School for the Blind in Singapore; and a dedicated social worker campaigning for the betterment of women and children.'
'Ms Choy opened her home to Mr. Tan and his family who lost their home in a huge fire.'
'Ms Choy became a surrogate mother at 23 to six younger siblings.'
Quoted from Today Newspaper.

I salute Ms Choy for her commitment to the society. For being so magnanimous and courageous. For having a forgiving heart. I believe these are what the average public cannot do. In this century, we will not forgive those who have hurt us. We will bear in mind the number of stabs that have made us bleed. We will think of ways to revenge ourselves. Totally disgusting!

Why can't we forgive and forget? The world will be a much more beautiful place this way. My grandfather once told me of this poem, though which I cannot really remember the details anymore. However, it did mention about forgive and forget.

I am trying very hard to master this. Are you? If you are not, give it a try. I believe you can do it. Nothing is impossible. It is just a matter of whether you want to open yourselves up to the rest and face the matter gracefully.

Ms Elizabeth Choy in her younger days.

A Letter

2006-09-15T00:20:00.000+08:00

I recently received an email narrating a story written by a guy who had an affair. It teaches the meaning of being married. Read it. You will understand. If not, go fall in love.

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene ten years ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes. Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment. One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer. Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically. I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face. On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague. On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy. I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.

I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.

In the midst of exploring...

2006-09-15T00:15:00.000+08:00

I apologise for the incomplete revision of my blog.

As a PC-user, I have to sadly announce that my web knowledge is limited. If you ask me to design a web , I'm sorry. It is not within my means. Hence, please bear with me while I go and learn from my friends. The experts who can help create a better NET world.

My Purpose

2006-09-12T23:06:00.000+08:00

I cannot believe that I am typing this now.

Years back, I used to tell people that blogs are a waste of time and a really dumb way to relate your thoughts and opinions. Does it do good to share your private life with others? Do you feel a sense of satisfication from it? Or do you just want fame out of it? How P&C can it be? How 'low' a profile can you keep? How many people will you offend? Yes, these are questions which I've raised some 2 to 3 years back.

You will have to agree with me. A diary is still different from a blog. A blog is a platform for us to share our ideas and to discuss about common issues of parties who have common interest. So how can you define it as an online diary? Diaries are secretive. Things which you only wish to share with your inner-self, making sure that no one else will know what your sub-conscious is thinking. Am I right? Admit it. And for those who disagrees with me, is fame what you are looking for? Are you in need of attention? Many bloggers have shot to fame over the past year. They have been invited for reviews, conferences, campaigns, launches or even TV talk shows. And I must admit that I salute them for being so truthful about themselves. It takes lots of guts as once you mentioned something wrongly or against the mass, you will face the possibility of being outcast.

Of course, I must also comment that not all bloggers are writing for themselves. I have friends who are surprising me with the essays that they posted. For once, I know them better. And I know that they have the substance. Do you know people who blog like that?

So what am I doing now? Do I need attention? Do I want to try a hand at stardom? Or am I just simply bored? My answer: I want to share my life and experiences with you. With the part of you that still have not unlocked yourselves or not have found answers which you have been searching for a very long time. Though I must admit that I will blog about my personal non-discussive issues at times, please bear with me. I have a project on hand. And I am working towards it. Please support me and lend me your 'heart'.

"Time is endless. We must cherish time.

BUT I prefer to choose a lifetime's trust.

Wait for me."

*piggishpig is a pig who is feeling piggish*

Year 2007 to Year 2008

Part 2

HELLO HELLO!

3D Cakes

飞轮海-《出神入化》完整MTV

Indulging in my own world...

The Fact

Thinking for yourself...

My Birthday

Hurt...

Notelist

小S徐熙娣-愛不持久

HIM

Words Women Use

My Best Friend

Dedicated to Winnifred and Hui Xian

换换爱

Customer Service

Friendster Horoscope

Kluang

Meet-ups with the Girls..

Plans in my Career

Start of Work

My First Meme

A Song Dedication To My Friends

Birthday Celebrations

Welcome to Shah Alam!

How well do you know me?

SHE+飞轮海<<谢谢你的温柔>>MTV

What I truly feel...

Disappointment in Life

To: 6 Sep 1985

SHE光临棒棒堂

It's Cheryl!

Overcoming Problems...

It still happened...

For One More Day

夏日初体验

My Role Model

Dedicated to Eugene Tan

My Mom

SHE- 中国话

You... Stop!

Dancing with soul

Here I go again...

My Dream

Our Thoughts

Freedom

'I'M BACK!'

Lollipop 棒棒堂

STRESS!

Dilemma

Memories

My Aspirations

It's Party Time!

My Weekend

Are you a scanner?

Life and Death

SCGS

Disappointment

Scholarships & Education

Service Quality

A Life, My Life, Your Life

Happy New Year!

Menstruation

Smile Pasta aka Wei Xiao Pasta

My 1 Week Break...

How sensitive can she be!

Ella's New Show- Hua Yang Shao Nian Shao Nu

"Sentosa! Here I come!"

To all finders... cum readers...

Jobless

I tendered my resignation!

Bankruptcy

Moving Forward

Job Hopping

Making Love Complete

A Change of Culture

Having more experience does not mean you're wiser!

piggishpig is a pig who is feeling piggish