This is my first song dedication to my dear friends out there. Found it really meaningful. Describes about the bond friends share among themselves and the dreams they dare to dream of together. Hopefully all of us will be as what the lyrics scipted, persist with passion!
Moving forward, what are your new year resolutions? I meant realistic resolutions, so that gives no excuse for not being able to fulfil. This year, I have too many resolutions. From as simple as sleeping before 1am every night to adopting a healthy dietary to extremes such as travelling to 2 countries this year and complete a story. Of course, good grades as well since I'm starting school on Monday!!! Gosh! I can't believe I'm going back to school.. finally! It's been ages since I've stepped into a campus. It will be a hectic and I supposed, both a tiring and fulfilling year for me. Tiring because I am still working full time and studying part time. Fulfilling because I know I'll cherish all the time I have now to complete goals which I've set for myself. But these also mean that there are sacrifices to make. Such as time spent with friends and family. Folks, in future, I'll be away for classes either on Monday, Tuesday, Friday or Sat (afternoon), plus projects and work, gatherings for me will be minimal. So must let me know way way beforehand if we are meeting.
However, before I move on to work on my 2008 goals, I want to reflect on Year 2007. Which I think everyone should do so so as to know clearer what you want to achieve in the new year and what you can do to improve yourself and make living more meaningful.
Within the last 6 days of new year, I brushed by death. Or to correct, I saw my granny fighting death. She contracted colon cancer and was in the 3rd stage. There is still no confirmation as to whether she needs to go for chemotherapy sessions but I can already experience the pain and agony she will be put through. And high-likely she will need to go for these sessions. Can you feel the pain? I think it's worst than kidney dialysis. Furthermore, she is already wearing this bag where her small intestine can be seen. (Our small intestine looks like chinese sausage btw.) Her faeces will be discharged through her small intestine into that bag which she will have to continue to wear until she completes her chemotherapy sessions. It's really troublesome and mentally stressing. This morning, she just flared up because she is unable to eat chilli. Chilli is a necessity for her. She lives on it, but because of the bag she is carrying and her recent operation, she can only take congee and fish. How can she take it?! Right now, I can only pray for a speedy recovery. And hopefully, she does not need to go for chemo.
Year 2007 was also a year of uncertainty for me. I was not sure about what I want in life. There seems to be too many things going on and even if I have any aim, I had doubts that I'll be able to complete it as there are so many barriers out there. First and foremost, money would be the main issue. It won't make one happy but it is definitely important and essential. And since I've borrowed a bank loan for my education, all the more I won't be able to save money for things that I want to do.
Worklife was an extreme for me. From low, to zero, to 20% then to 80%. I don't know whether to say I am lucky or what, but I am glad the risk I took paid off. Ever since joining Changi Airport, I know for sure that I want to be in the travel and leisure industry, and if possible, mass communication too. This is my aim. And where I want to carve a career for myself in.
Lovelife was a big boo boo for me too. Thankfully the 4 years of relationship went on. Because now, I can tell others proudly that both of us worked for what we have today. And I hope our relationship this year will be smooth-sailing.
Friends... they are important to me. This year, I befriended many friends from different professions. They taught me different values in life which I believe will guide me through different walks in life. Thank you for all that has been taught!
There are alot more which I would love to blog about, but I think I'll keep that to myself. Kind of lazy to type anymore. So before I sign off, here's wishing everybody a blissful year ahead, with a year full of good health, wealth, warmth and passion! Love all!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Continuation....
Erm, I suddenly don't know what to post... haha...
Shall let you guys view some MVs first...
I still have a sudden urge to reside at Taiwan at times. Not because of just the entertainment, but also because I want to experience the culture there. The Chinese, but yet not so traditional culture. I give myself 3 years in Singapore to earn enough money to move over there for 6 months. I'll be 25 years old by then. Will I still want to go? Guess only time can tell...
I shall touch a little about my love life now. Although we still pickle over minor issues, but basically, I am happy. At least I see that he is more sensible now. Though still spending, but it is an investment. So it's good. So friends, I am living well now. No worries. Thanks for all the care and concern during those days. Thank you! Muacks!
I just attended my friend's baby's first month celebration. Sometimes, I'll feel like getting married, move into my own apartment and live in my 2-person world since I don't have any motherly instinct now. My friends always ask me when I am getting married and I'll always tell them after I obtain my degree. But should I really wait till then? Oh well, I guess may be I am shadowed over my parents' divorce. By dragging, I want to make sure that I am going to marry the right guy. And not end up being a divorcee. Let's pray.
On to work life, so far so good. Though position-wise, I've dropped a couple of levels, pay-wise, lowered by a few hundred, but I am happy. At least I don't drag myself to work. Moreover, I see results and how it can add on to my portfolio in future. I'm thankful I made the right choice to job-hop.
I am also working towards my goals, my dreams. Are you? Live to dream!
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Hello Everybody!
Long time no 'SEE'!!
Hahahahah...
How have everybody been so far? I'm currently still very busy at work, though I must admit that it gives me a great sense of satisfaction. Especially when I see a successful event and promotion one after the other... the response and result... the feeling is remarkable! I'm sure many of you who run promotions and manage events will have the same experience as me!
A little update on what has been going on in my life since my last post... since I seldom go online these days too.. too tired to chat...
I went to Bintan and Phuket for a break with my Sec sch buddies and my mum n sis respectively.
The bintan trip was refreshing. It was one of our first trip to somewhere out of S'pore for the first time as a group after graduation. We've been talking about traveling to somewhere and we've finally done so!!! So happy! Many thanks to Lac who got us the 'HUGE' chalet at a very affordable rate. Thanks to Winnie who cooked for us. Thanks to Shan and Shufen for being such great sports, shopping and sleeping companions. And of course- many many thanks to the 4 of you for being such great traveling mates. This is extremely important as it affects the friendship. I'm thankful that it did not and I'm more than willing to travel with you guys again! How about all of you? If you don't feel comfortable, must let me know ya?!
But as good as it is, I've been shedding skin for 2-3 weeks after the Bintan trip. And I've turned very tan, so tan till my colleagues who saw me 3 weeks after still questions me why I am so dark! Very exaggerating! Haha... If you want to find out more about Bintan or view the many pictures we took, please refer to Shan's blog.
Next would be my trip to Phuket. Stayed at Banthai Resort and Spa. GOOD! EXCELLENT! I strongly recommend anyone who wants to go to Phuket to book a room there. Convenient, spacious, excellent service, many facilities and tight security. There's even a jacuzzi, suana room and a hot steam bath room. One very memorable experience with Banthai was on the last day of our stay. We checked out at 12pm then went to join a tour to visit James Bond Island. It rained, so all of us were drenched, soaking wet. Hence, we tried our luck by asking the reception if there was any place for us to shower and change. And guess what!? They offered us their spa to use to shower!!! So prestigious right? I'm impressed. They have me as a supporter now. Haha...
Besides the hotel, we went for a half day city tour, went to watch the Simon Cabaret and Phuket FantaSea Show, went for a half day Island tour and of course, shopping and services!!! I shall let the pictures do the talking now. Haha...
My ex-colleague from Voxy. To think that we've not met for a year already, but now that we've met, it's her serving me on Jetstar!!! Haha...
At James Bond Island- We wanted to climb higher, but it started to pour so we ran all the way down again. Drenched...
At the foot of James Bond Island
At Payee Restaurant. It's a Malay Fishing Village. Food is superb there!
On the 'banana' looking boat to all the various island... can't rem exactly what it is called..
At Phuket FantaSea- Tickets are slightly expensive, but it's totally worth it. It's a not-to-be-missed show in Phuket!
At the entrance of Banthai Resort and Spa
We had the jacuzzi all the ourselves.... shiok!
After the Simon Cabaret Show. Spotted a few really gorgeous performers...
At Phuket's most famous temple- Can't rem what it's called too.. haha...
Rifle Shooting- I scored 42/50!
A bird's eye view of Phuket
Our hotel room- the bathroom and basin
Banthai was the second hotel which I stayed at where the basin is not in the toilet..
Our cosy bed and hotel room!
I must emphasize why I went for this Phuket trip. I won this trip through my company's 'First to travel through Terminal 3' ballot draw. As we all know, T3 will be opening its door to the public from 12 Nov 2007. Besides the landside area where most public can walk about freely, visitors can get to explore the transit mall for a nominal fee. You should really go to visit if you have the time. It's huge! I spent 10mins walking from one end to just half the terminal. If I'm not wrong, some stores will be operating by 12 Nov too, so go and grab the great deals available!
Besides Bintan and Phuket, I also went to stay over at SAF Yacht Club. My mum is in a networking club which allows her to exchange points for a night's stay at the SAF Yacht Club. I must stay that although the place is small, the whole atmosphere is relaxing. Moreover, it's a restricted area, hence, the crowd is kept to its smallest. Therefore, making it very exclusive. Food is good, facilities properly kept and even its KTV has the latest song!!! Worth visiting if you have a chance.
At SAF Yacht Club- We were not supposed to take pictures with yachts at this area. But we took till the security warned us... haha...
I want this swing for my house!
I particularly like this picture. Good photography skills yeah?
I wanted to show you guys the boat turned bar top but can't be bothered to rotate the pic... try tilting your head instead.. haha...
Taking a night walk...
There was a marriage solemnization when we checked in...
The wedding couple arrived in a yacht... how cool yeah?
The Swimming pool and jacuzzi...
The view from our hotel room...
The 2 twin cosy beds...
That is all for now.. took quite some time to type this post and to upload all the pics... shall continue my update another day when i feel like it.. sayonara!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
I've taken a fancy to 3D cakes recently. Although they are costly, but it makes a difference to cake tasting altogether...
Saturday, September 15, 2007
飞轮海-《出神入化》完整MTV
王力宏庆功演唱会 in Taiwan, with special guest: Selina and Rainie Yang (Can ignore the rest of the video after Rainie)
I still can't get over the fact that the group of friends whom I once thought were trusting are actually not what I deem them to be. In fact, I think I was never regarded as one of their 'direct' friend, but their friend's girlfriend.
Truth be told, I hate it when people treat me as their friend's girlfriend, cousin's girlfriend or who's friend's friend when I treat them as my friend. Especially after so many years of knowing each other and after my repeated times of reminding them, it still does not work.
Friends who knew this group of people once told me that they can no longer click with them. Different frequency, different thinking, different ideas. They were once close, but now, they seldom chat on msn, much less meet up. I told them that not all of them are like this. They probably need to spend more time conversing with them to find out what are their thoughts. They might not be who they seem to be. I always persisted in that belief.
But this birthday, I was wrong. I was utterly disappointed. Very disappointed. None of them remembered me. And when some of them were reminded that it was my birthday, some wish, some did not wish, some didn't even bother. And for the don't know how many times, nobody called me when they gathered. Nobody bothered to ask about my existance. No one from that particular group cared. All that my other friends once told me about them seem to come true. That they probably only cared for themselves, for the fun and company. Taking everyone else for granted. I don't know what else I can say besides disappointed. That seems to be the only word I have to describe them now.
I know those in this group might be reading this now. You might disagree, you might boil. You might feel unfair for. But this is what I feel from the bottom of my heart. Who's right, who's wrong... only time will tell...
Sunday, September 09, 2007
I realised that I have been grumbling and complaining alot recently. May be because I have high expectations. I don't know. But I feel that what I expect are merely just basic human principles, but yet, so many people cannot attain it.
I no longer have patience for such people. I no longer want to be magnanimous and forgiving. I no longer want to give in and be generous.
I know now, why some people chose to be selfish and only think for themselves. Because this is reality. In this world, this era, many people only think for themselves. If you always put others before you, you will suffer in the end, and ultimately, only you yourself will understand how terrible it feels.
Of course, you still have to be responsible and have intregrity. This is the basic. You are still answerable to yourself. As long as you can live up to your concious and hold your head high, you have my respect.
I feel enlightened.
This birthday, I learnt who my true friends are.
This birthday, I learnt more about myself.
This birthday, I realised I have been taken for granted by many people.
This birthday, I realised that my sisters are my best friends.
This birthday, I felt disappointed in him.
This birthday, I know for sure that I am not materialistic.
This birthday, I am not satisfied... in fact, it was one of my worst birthday...
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
I feel very very very terrible....
He actually told me that he wanted to break up... but I managed to persuade him to give this relationship another chance... he finally agreed but told me that his reason for wanting to break up is because he said he loves me too much but does not feel the return. He feels that I am not loving him enough or not putting in enough effort into this relationship and not showing him enough concern.
I feel very wronged. Very heartbroken and sad... I just cant stop crying... although I've managed to retain this relationship but I don't feel good at all... I still love him alot, may be that's what makes me feel so shattered... so upset over...
I admit that I might not show him as much love as before, but that was because he changed too much. He is not like the him last time. He did not show concern to me too. Gave more attention to his friends n colleagues. It's like.. whenever I want to spend more time with him, he will always have plans with his friends later. He no longer sends me home. He no longer tells me that he loves me. He no longer would show concern about my health and brushes me off. Always say that I am falling sick so it's normal le. He makes decisions without considering about my feelings. Although ultimately, he gives in, but that was because I blew it up. If I did not do so, I'm sure he would have went ahead to proceed with what he wanted to do. He told me that he wants to save for our future, but he does not have any savings. He is not doing anything to assure us of a future. Then he blames it on me not wanting to get marry early cos I want to do things which I have planned on my own. But how can I get married now? No savings, no nothing.... I really do not feel secure marrying him. I do not want to end up like my mum. That is the last thing I want to happen in my life. He said that I do not ask about how he feels, but when I do, he does not tell me. If he dont want to tell me, I respect your decision, keep quiet and gives him moral support. Do you ask about how I feel? No. He also din ask. But I share with him. I take the initiative. I am sick and tired. Yes, sometimes I feel like giving this relationship up, but deep in my heart, I know I love him too much to really do it. And he just told me that he loves me too much that's why he want to break. I feel really very terrible... like what have I done to deserve all these?
This time round, I am really hurt. My tears just cant stop rolling down my face.... i'm in deep pain.. very very pain... until i duno if i can forgive him for this...
Saturday, August 11, 2007
So much to do, so little resources...
1) Get a new spectacle- My old one is out of shape. It's like a reading specs now.. haha... May be I'll make a trip down to Kluang to make a new pair. It's simply too ex to get one in Singapore...
2) Get my 2 pairs of Charles & Keith shoes! 1 flat, 1 heel... most of my shoes are all worn out already... though so, I feel satisfied. I like to use things till they wear and tear... makes it worth it..
3) Compose lyrics for a chinese contest- I've been trying my best to submit entries for such competitions. I recently handed in a short story for a local competition which I doubt will be of much interest... but it's a start for me! And it gets me to start writing for my book...
4) Read harry potter and the half blood price then get the last installment- I bought the book last October.. haha...
5) I want to get this top from Bugis! But it's a boutique where all clothes are the one and only... I din get the other time cos it was a little costly.. regret... duno whether it'll still be there...
6) Mark travel dates at the end of the year and early next yr- If i've saved enough, I would want to travel to taiwan or HK at the end of the yr. But doubt so. And T3 is opening, so might not be able to apply for leave. So if not, just a short trip to genting or a cruise...
7) Get an eyeliner- My eyes have been occasionally sore for the past one after putting on my contacts or makeup. Think it could be the makeup.. time to change for a new set!
8) Head down to any beach to cycle and pinic- It's been ages since I've done so... It's time!
9) Meet up with different groups of friends- it tough, tedious and tiring been the organizer.. haha... dont u guys agree?
10) Get a new digital camera! My mum's camera is going bongus... need one for leisure and work... time to save again... going broke...
11) Work towards my dream!!! A handful of dreams to work towards... this, i think will take a few years to accomplish... wish me luck!
Tada! I wonder how long I will take to check the list I just created... haha...
Friday, August 10, 2007
小S徐熙娣-愛不持久
This song totally describes my mood now...
作曲:徐熙娣作词:徐熙娣
爱不可能持久
尤其当一个人怀疑自己的时候
本来更甜美的话
现在却象在吵架
如果没有人想承认
自己还爱对方
爱就变成挣扎
爱不可能持久
尤其当你怀疑我不爱你的时候
本来想牵你的手
现在却觉得尴尬
如果没有人想承认
自己还爱对方
爱就变成挣扎
我不想失去你
又不知道如何表达
我爱你明明在心里面回荡
我不想失去你
又不知道如何表达
下次多希望你能够鼓起勇气说爱我
What is wrong with him? This time round, I don't know how to play my cards...
He called me yesterday to say that he feels that we are lacking in communication. I agree with him on this point, but it can't be helped. Our work hours and rest days are totally different, our interests are different too, our views and opinions differ as well. He is more of a night person whereas I am more of a day girl. We are 2 complete opposite creatures who happened to cross path and decided to join into a single line.
Come end August will be our 4th anniversary, I have planned a weekend of celebration for the both of us. He has also taken leave. I simply just don't know why he have to react like this now.
He commented that he foresees this as a never ending problem, or at least till we get married. Then we will be able to meet each other even if he ends work late. What can we do to solve this? I suggested that he change his job. Because for a retail operating hours, his company is sucking his blood. Taking up almost 7/8 of his week, and making them work from 10am to 1130pm whenever they are assigned full shift. I should be the one complaining that he does not have time for me, does not give me the attention he ought to give instead of giving it to his friends or colleagues. He does not drink last time but now, goes to pubs with his friends and can drink to almost a drunken state at times. I dislike all this. But I know that as we age, our thinking differ. We may want to try new things. We mix with different people. We are exposed to many worlds which we have not even seen before. I am alright with that. But if you are going to be like this, don't come and complain that I am the one who is not trying hard enough to make the relationship work.
Now, he does not even want to talk. I went for dinner with him and his family. Sat beside him but he kept quiet all the while even till we went home. I tried to communicate, but he simply just passed a remark to say that he does not even know what is wrong with him. I see no point in staying at his place so I stormed out of the house and went home.
I respected him. Gave him his freedom. He commented that I am not caring enough about him and not loving him as much as last time. He says that I do not ask him about his work or show concern, SMS while at work etc. He tells me about his work so I naturally do not ask him anymore. I do try to find out more but he will just brush me off and say that I will not understand. When talking about SMS, I admit that while at work and especially when I am busy, I will tend not to use my hp for personal use. But occasionally when I do call or SMS, his reply will be busy working, call you later. Isn't that back to square 1? I don't see the difference.
Everything he said from last night till now makes me feel like he wants to initiate a breakup. He says that he is scared he is wasting my time if it does not work out for us. At that point of time, love is not the reason for our breakup but because of the difference in interest. If that day comes, I will gracefully take it. Though I think I might feel strong and able to withstand all these now, I don't think I will be able to recover fast when it really hits me. He ever said before that unless I suggest, he will not initiate. But what is this? I am really heartbroken... I try to organize outings to the zoo, museum, play pool cos i know he like animals and nature, but he rejects all. So what more does he want?
I find all these problems, which he calls, unnecessary. I see no point in arguing, or worrying about all these. I have already given my 2 cents worth of advice and solution. If he does not want to even try, what can I do? I am lost. Confused. Puzzled.
A few weeks back, he even wanted to let his female friend stay over at his place for a whole 1-2 weeks. Common! I will not take this lying down! I am not that generous! That girl was initially at Australia, just started uni. But just into the first week, she decided that she want to switch schools to be the same as her bf. So she needs to fly bk to S'pore to settle the procedures. However, she does not want her parents to find out so she asked if she can bulk at his place. He immediately agreed. Please... think of me can? I told him I didn't like and he said that he respected me that's why he told me, otherwise he can just go ahead to let his friend stay without telling me. I don't think that was very pleasing to hear. I am your girlfriend. It is not just a matter of respect, or whether he wants to stand up for his friend. He claims that he is not the kind to leave his friends in the lutch, but how can he allow this? And what kind of girl would ask if she can stay at a guy's house? Hello!? This is Singapore.. not Australia. You grew up here! Dont you have other female friends? If you don't, then you should go and review your character. It's time to make changes! I told him straight in the face that if he insists on letting her stay, I will break up with him and I meant it. This is serious case for me. I cannot accept it. Although I believe he wont betray me, but who knows what the girl might do. And it's a very sick thought to know that another girl is sleeping under the same roof, in my bf's room. He continued to argue and insisted at first which totally disappointed me. But I won the battle in the end, which I feel that I should. Thank goodness he gave in... but now... he suddenly became like this... actually many problems are self created by us. if we choose to look at things from a broader perspective, then we will not feel so stressful and will live more happily...
I dont know what to do anymore. I only know for sure that I do not want a break up now... when is he ever going to wake up?
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Words women use:
FINE This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the thrash. So I feel that it's an even trade.
NOTHING This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down and backwards. 'Nothing' usually signifies an argument that will last 'Five minutues' and end with the word 'fine'.
GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over 'Nothing' and will end with the word 'Fine'.
I love to travel.
I love to sing.
I'm stubborn and determined; but not a bad guy.
I look for hope.
I pray for luck.
That's coz...
I'm a girl. And a piggish one too.
The DIVA ♥
PIGGISHPIG there's nothing wrong with my name.
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again. I'm imperfect and I'm Lovin' It.
I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life.
WISHLIST ♥
Travel around the world. Complete my degree. Get my ideal job. Wisdom, Knowledge & Talent.
A penthouse and a car.
Friends and believers.
Pen my own book.
A woman of influence.
